The Works of God

Too frequently I say words in haste.  But there was a season when I said terrible, heretical, damnable words about God and his word, and I was quite certain I meant every one of them.  Fortunately, I was surrounded by people who understood the difference between words with roots on my heart, and words spoken in the haze of bitterness, uncertainty and suffering.

In this article written two years before that season of my life, Pastor John helps us see the difference between words that deserve reproving and words ‘spoken on the wind.’

Job 6:26

Do you think that you can reprove words, when the speech of a despairing man is wind?

In grief and pain and despair people often say things they otherwise would not say. They paint reality with darker strokes than they will paint it tomorrow when the sun comes up. They sing in minor keys and talk as though that is the only music. They see clouds only and speak as if there were no sky.

They say, “Where is God?” Or: “There is no use to go on.” Or: “Nothing makes any sense.” Or: There’s no hope for me.” Or: “If God were good this couldn’t have happened.”

What shall we do with these words?

Job says that we do not need to reprove them. These words are wind, or literally “for the wind.” They will be quickly blown away. There will come a turn in circumstances and the despairing person will waken from the dark night and regret hasty words.

Therefore, the point is, let us not spend our time and energy reproving such words. They will be blown away of themselves on the wind. One need not clip the leaves in autumn. It is a wasted effort. They will soon blow off of themselves.

O how quickly we are given to defending God, or sometimes the truth, from words that are only for the wind. If we had discernment we could tell the difference between the words with roots and the words blowing in the wind.

There are words with roots in deep error and deep evil. But not all grey words get their color from a black heart. Some are colored mainly by the pain, the despair. What you hear is not the deepest thing within. There is something real within where they come from. But it is temporary—like a passing infection—real, painful, but not the true person.

Let us learn to discern whether the words spoken against us or against God or against the truth are merely for the wind—spoken not from the soul, but from the sore. If they are for the wind, let us wait in silence and not reprove. Restoring the soul not reproving the sore is the aim of our love.

Learning to listen to the soul,

Pastor John

John Piper, “When Words Are Wind,” November 10, 1993 Taste and See Article

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On Monday some dear friends had their first child.  She is beautiful, as all babies are to me.

She is entirely ‘normal’ in the sense that she didn’t come with any sort of complications related to disability.  I was completely happy for and with them, for lots of reasons.

That isn’t always the case.

I never wish for a disability on a child, of course.  But when a child is born into a family without any of the complications we experience, I sometimes hear a voice inside my own head whispering, “Happy for them, but I wish I didn’t have these extra things to deal with.”

But for this day, God silenced that voice.

There are moments we need to fight for joy in our family, especially when dealing with things that cause Paul pain like his seizure disorder we’re trying to figure out.

But I realized as I left the hospital Monday night that I had been completely free to enjoy this new dad and new mom and new baby – entirely happy for them.  My prayers with them had been unencumbered by any heaviness on my heart.  God gave that experience to me.

That’s a gift.

I expect I’ll need to fight that voice in my own head again.  But moments of pure enjoyment at another’s happy circumstance are very sweet.  And I thank God for those moments.

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Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. Jame 1:2-4

Today is an anniversary of sorts.  Six years ago today we learned that Dianne had cancer.  A few days after that we would learn it had already spread through her lymph system to her bones.

God has kindly helped us during these years.  Because of the nature of her cancer her oncologist has told us, “you’ll die with it; my job is to make sure you don’t die of it.”

Statements like that tend to make one a little more serious about life.  Serious, but also more aware of God’s daily help, and our constant need for his grace and mercy.  And that makes even cancer something that God uses to bring him glory and to increase our joy in him.

Cancer is a horrible disease.  I look forward to the day it will be conquered for eternity.

But until that day, I am grateful for promises, anchored in the perfect life, obedience, death and resurrection of Jesus.

And I’m grateful that for now God has spared Dianne’s life.  She is a constant encouragement to me, and I gather to others as well.

So thank you for indulging me as I replay this video from earlier this year.  And please join me in thanking God for this remarkable woman!

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Yesterday I had two blog posts, one here and one at Desiring God.

The two are directly connected.  The outrageous statements made on the video yesterday were birthed decades ago behind the closed doors of the academy.  Scholars get into their little tribes and in talking to each other come up with some pretty mysterious, sometimes evil, ways to look at the world.

This is not a rant against higher education.  I have been associated with higher education in some way for 16 of the past 20 years.  I have met many fine people, including Christian scholars seeking to help young people better understand the Bible.

But I have also seen the seductive peer pressure of the academy make otherwise extremely intelligent people behave badly, or at least without integrity.  If the ‘new’ and the ‘edgy’ are what is valued, then even the Bible will be read and studied from that perspective.

I hate that.

I’m not immune to that temptation.  Writing for this blog tempts me regularly to be ‘clever.’

But, in the end, I have only one note to ring:  God is sovereign.  That includes being sovereign over disability.

I don’t want to be clever about that; I just want people to trust Jesus.

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Finding general agreement on any area concerning Christian belief and practice is almost impossible.  But on the topic of how Christian communities across the theological spectrum deal with disability, there is much agreement.  In facing this issue, those of us who find the Bible entirely reliable and true have a significant advantage over those who do not.

For example, Justin Reimer, founder and director of The Elisha Foundation and Deborah Beth Creamer, liberal theologian and author of Copious Hosting, are about a thousand miles apart on how they understand God and disability.

But within a span of two days, I experienced them agreeing:

Both observed that issues related to disability are frequently left to those who are directly experiencing disability rather than the entire community of the church.

Justin shared a story on Saturday of a mother of a child with a disability who advocated within her church for services for children with disabilities.   The proposal was approved – and this young mother was then put in charge of providing those services.  This, of course, makes it harder for that young mother to experience church; nobody is serving her needs.

On Monday I found Deborah Beth Creamer agreeing that this is a problem, this time from the perspective of disability theology and scholarship:

When religious studies or seminary courses engage disability at all, it is often in a separate unit or discussion (often at the end of the semester), an addendum or afterthought. Those of us who work in the area of disability theology are often considered to be dealing with “special” interests (reminiscent of “special” education), and are typically (and uncritically) assumed to have a particular connection to these issues—not because we have/are flesh, as Betcher might claim, but because we must have a “personal” (read: nonacademic) experience with disability/impairment. These sorts of claims and positionings are frustrating, not only insofar as they negate complexity and ignore the fleshly realities that Betcher so helpfully names but also because they position disability as a theme and experience best left to closets, corners, and other closed spaces. Deborah Creamer, “Embracing Limits, Queering Embodiment: Creating/Creative Possibilities for Disability Theology,” Journal of Feminist Studies in Religion, September 1, 2010, p. 124

To combat this isolation, most people concerned about this issue (including me) make a logical appeal to those who are not interested: just look at the massive numbers of people with disabilities around us!  Estimates range from 10 – 20% of the population living with a disabling condition.  In the United States in 2007, the U.S. Census Bureau estimated that 41 million Americans were living with a disabling condition.  Together, disabled Americans would be the third largest ethnic group in the United States, slightly behind the number of Hispanic/Latino Americans (46.9 million) and slightly ahead of African Americans (36.7 million).

There is a better argument, but only for those of us who believe the Bible is entirely reliable and inerrant.  This argument would not work for theologians or pastors who discount or dismiss the notion that God has provided us a book that says accurate things about his character and his abilities and his creation.

Here’s that argument:

God cares about disability.  There are hundreds of references in the Bible to disease, disability or physical differences.  Some of those references directly proclaim God’s sovereignty over disability, including his purposefully creating some to live with disability in this life.  Others are illustrative of core principles. Still others are, on first look, very difficult to understand and initially troubling.

All say something about who God is.

Thus, if you care what God has to say about a subject, and understand that all scripture is “breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17), then you should be interested in disability.  Disability is a significant theological issue and it profoundly affects many people under your care.

I am quite aware that pastors and leaders are faced with an almost impossible number of issues on a regular basis, and that disability tends to be a niche issue.  That should not change how we view or behave towards our leaders.  We should strive to be known, as a group, as reasonable, submissive, gracious and kind to those in authority as pastors and elders.

So, let us be both humble and bold about asking people to care about this issue with us.  We do not have to use guilt; we can invite people into this massively important issue to God, for his glory, and for their good.

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A week ago, Paul quietly sat with his mom during the worship service, causing no disruption or disturbance to anyone.  And my heart ached for him.

This week, he didn’t make it through two minutes before I knew his behavior would disturb and annoy potentially most of the congregation.  And I happily took him out.

Does that seem backward to you?

Last week Paul suffered a seizure before the Saturday evening service.  He was quiet because his mind and his body were exhausted.

This Saturday evening he had gone seven days without a seizure and his regular personality was emerging.  His multiple disabilities give him no idea that his happy sounds might be inappropriate or might annoy others.

So, though I was a little disappointed I couldn’t stay in the sanctuary, my heart was not heavy as I took him out to sit with the other families of wiggly ones, just outside the sanctuary.

And I rejoiced to God at the ‘bad’ behaviors of my happy boy.

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The discussion this week on genetic counseling has been very helpful for me personally.  I’m grateful for the many public comments and personal emails.  I like reflecting on God’s sovereignty over disability.

But that doesn’t mean I always get it, even when I’m writing it.  Here’s what I mean.

On Monday I bound into work, looking forward to a busy week of activities as we handle both routine business and extra things around the Desiring God National Conference as well as some projects my team is working on.  The family also has the regular activities of home and school, and figuring out Paul’s latest medical issues.  Ours is a typical, busy life.

At lunch on Monday I crack a tooth.  It doesn’t hurt, but it is annoying.

On Tuesday I call my dentist.  They could see me right away!  “Oh no, you don’t understand I am very important and have many things to do and the whole office would just shut down if I didn’t come in so could we make it Wednesday or Thursday?” I replied.  Actually, what I think I said was, “I have several meetings at work today; could we make it Wednesday or Thursday.”  Wednesday it was.  I inform my office colleagues I’ll be out in the morning, but should be in for afternoon meetings.

Wednesday morning I walk the two blocks to my dentists office.  The dental hygienist takes me back for x-rays and to have a look, and immediately concludes the tooth will have to come out.  Rats, I’m thinking, or maybe not!  Maybe I’ll get out of here faster that way.

The dentist comes in and says it definitely needs to come out, and the wisdom tooth above it as well.  Ugh, I think.  I ask if it could wait, as I have much to do today.  My dentist is a reasonable, jovial man, but both he and the hygienist, together and separately, make it clear I should have this taken care of as soon as possible.  Fine, I say.  Can we do it now?

No, this will require an oral surgeon.  He can see you today, but he’s located in a southern suburb.  Would I prefer local or general anesthesia?

At this point you would think it would dawn on me that I wasn’t in control of anything.  It did not.

I persevere in my desire to keep things under my control, trying to get clarity on what this means for my schedule and how quickly I can get on with life.  “General anesthesia?  No, I’ll need to be able to drive after.  Tell him local.” I remember both the dentist and the hygienist looking at each other when I said, basically, “I can get back to work tomorrow, right?”  They didn’t say no, but they sure weren’t comfortable saying yes.

I like to think I’m a praying man, but mostly as I walked the two blocks home I’m thinking how inconvenient this all is and why did it have to happen now and oh, woe is me.

Again, you would think, having a son with a life-long disability and a spouse with the specter of cancer over her head – and the extraordinary grace God has provided time and again in our lives – that I would fight the sin of self-sufficiency and pride much more effectively.

But it wasn’t until I got to the surgeon’s office that I realized, I’m having oral SURGERY!  I may not be returning to work right away.  I pulled out my iPhone and read from my devotions for the previous day:

My shield is with God,
who saves the upright in heart.
God is a righteous judge,
and a God who feels indignation every day. Psalm 7:10-11

I had not had an upright heart through any of this.  God SHOULD be indignant with me.  I had wickedly placed things under my command, grumbling as my plans changed rather than seeing all the graces being offered to me, thing like:

• Dental insurance
• A dentist who saw me right away
• An oral surgeon available that day
• The financial ability to pay for it
• An understanding workplace – my boss was the first to suggest I shouldn’t come in the next day
• Easily accessible pharmacy and pain medications
• A very helpful spouse who has shouldered even more responsibilities at home while I recover.

But most importantly, I am surrounded by undeserved, uncommon grace. I knew I could rest in Jesus, who is faithful and just to forgive my sins as I confessed my pride and my grumbling heart.  As only God can, he turned my situation into an opportunity to praise him for his extraordinary love for me – by cracking my tooth and changing my plans.

As I write this on Thursday, I’m obviously not at work.  The drugs that are keeping the ‘edge’ off the pain make it unwise for me to drive, and I can feel my whole thinking process has slowed way down.  But, Lord willing, this is all temporary.

What I hope isn’t temporary is consistently remembering who is really in control, and being very happy about it!

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