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Please, stop repeating that statistic!

July 7, 2012 by John Knight

I picked up one of my favorite publications done by a great ministry and started reading a story about churches responding to suffering people.  It was a nicely crafted piece about a church caring for a woman with a disabled child by herself – and I braced myself for what I knew was coming.  And there it was: “The divorce rate for special-needs families is over eighty percent.”

It isn’t true.  We have to stop repeating that horrible statistic!

Daniel Vance has done a great deal more research on this than I have, and he found studies that show divorce is slightly higher for certain disabilities: from 3.6% to 5.97% higher.  For families experiencing Down syndrome the overall divorce rate is actually lower than average.  As he points out, divorce rates appear to be higher, but that’s a long way from 75% to 85%.

Disability is hard on marriages; we already know that.  At least as great a problem as divorce are fathers who stay in marriages but check out from the daily care and leadership of children and wives.  Let’s not add to the burden by saying marriages will almost certainly fail when a child with a disability is born into it. Abortionists use statistics like that to encourage the killing of unborn babies.

And even if it were a true statistic in general, it does not have to be true for any specific family that leans into the promises of God for provision and help and peace. God himself has spoken about what he can do:

“Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?” (Jeremiah 32:27 ESV)

Posted in News, Scripture | 14 Comments »

Not sure what to say? Use God’s word!

July 6, 2012 by John Knight

After our Desiring God event last Friday evening, a woman who has experienced much suffering in her own life asked for prayer for a friend who is experiencing a terrible degenerative disease.  Her friend had some struggles familiar to me: how could God do this to a Christian?  She later emailed me asking for things she could say to her friend.

Those feel like really dangerous moments. I’m no counselor. I know several good Christian men who are counselors, and I’m not them!  And while we’ve experienced suffering of various kinds in our family, including a life-threatening disease, that doesn’t mean our experiences are the same.  What to do?

God drew me to his word and I put this together in an email:

  1. She has already passed from death to life: Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. (John 5:24 ESV)
  2. Suffering is common for the Christian: Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. (1 Peter 4:12-13 ESV)
  3. Jesus is greater than the suffering and troubles we will experience: “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 ESV)
  4. We are intimately known by God. We have not been abandoned when (not if) we walk through troubles in this life: But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” (Isaiah 43:2 ESV)
  5. Jesus suffered greatly; we are called to look to him! But he didn’t just tough it out; he was guided by joy: Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV)
  6. These things have purpose in her life, your life, your husband’s life, my life – God knows what he is doing: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 ESV)
  7. Nothing can separate us from God:  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39 ESV)
  8. God wants us to be happy – in him rather than anything else: You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11 ESV)
  9. We can be free, but only in Jesus. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1-2 ESV)
  10. All suffering has a glorious purpose. Paul, who suffered greatly with physical afflictions and hardships, saw his suffering in light of eternity: So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ESV)
  11. He also pointed to it in Romans: For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. (Romans 8:18 ESV)
  12. Paul pleaded to have his suffering (thorn in the flesh) removed. God had a greater thing in mind for Paul – more of God! But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV)

Then I prayed that God would use it to help.

I have no idea how the above list was received; I’m not even sure why I included those particular verses.  But I know that I was happy to send it, and far more confident that it might have some long-term usefulness than anything else I had to offer.

Sometimes the experiences that God has given us are useful in making much of him and connecting in positive ways with other suffering people.

God’s word, even when it is rejected, is always useful.  As one who used to reject it until God crushed my rebellion, I can say with assurance that this is true:

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”
(Isaiah 55:10-11 ESV)

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‘Tis Grace that brought me (and Paul) safe thus far. No reason to think it won’t continue.

July 5, 2012 by John Knight

“What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”  (Luke 11:11-13 ESV)

Paul’s disabilities remind me that I really need help.  It is a gift that he encourages my dependence on God.

Paul, however, lives freely dependent.  He doesn’t need any reminding that his needs are entirely met by others, and he is not embarrassed about that at all.

He really lives a remarkably anxiety-free life for the most part (he doesn’t like dentists and he doesn’t like to exercise).  He has zero worries about his next meal, or whether he will have a place to sleep, or what clothes he will wear.

His joy is a pure joy, without guile.  No baggage from the past and no concerns about the future; just an in-the-moment enjoyment.  He’s a good example for me, and probably you.

And he had a pretty good birthday with people who love him.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
‘Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

From Amazing Grace by John Newton

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17 and counting

July 4, 2012 by John Knight

Seventeen is kind of a blah birthday.  Unlike sixteen, there’s no crossing of an imaginary line of maturity and responsibility represented by the ability to drive independently.  Unlike eighteen, there’s no radical change in status like the ability to vote and sign contracts.

So, Paul’s seventeenth birthday today has not been accompanied by any great emotional reflection or upheaval like last year.  I’m glad for that.  I’m not letting my guard down, though – I know how quickly I am prone to doubt and how the evil one would love to take advantage of any crack or complacency he sees in my treasuring Jesus above all things.

Like every other year of Paul’s life, this past one has had some significant complications.  We finally got the diagnosis of seizures last August after two years of frustration.  After months of tinkering with medications he has been free of seizures for a month.  We’re very grateful to God for that!  But the medications have side effects including sleepiness and now we have issues with his muscle tone and flexibility.

The need to trust God is constantly right in front of us because of this boy.  Maybe that’s Paul’s best gift to us – we recognize our neediness and dependency upon God!

So, with a mix of great gladness for this boy’s life mingled with some sadness, with God’s help I am able to say:

From the rising of the sun to its setting,
the name of the LORD is to be praised!
(Psalm 113:3 ESV)

God used you to do that for me, son.  Happy Birthday!

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God has given you a story for the good of others

July 3, 2012 by John Knight

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.  (1 Thessalonians 5:14 ESV)

I was in Chicago over the weekend for some Desiring God events and was reminded that our unique stories give us unique opportunities to point people to God.

  • I met a mom who lost her daughter suddenly last year.  God had helped her and held her through that loss and she never felt anger toward God; she deeply encouraged me.  And she wanted prayer for a friend who lives with a deadly degenerative disorder; I think God helped me to serve her.
  • I met a grandmother who lost an infant granddaughter to a rare genetic anomaly.  God helped that family through this deep suffering, and amazing things happened.  As they walked with God in their suffering, some people watching them had their blindness to God’s glory removed.  God used that little girl’s 28 days of life to change eternity for some people.  To say I was encouraged is an understatement!
  • I met a man who no longer had a job, yet was with his happy wife and children.  Together, these parents were clinging to promises even as they prayed for God’s help for the provision they need.  I saw a good man leading his family well.  It was a joy to pray with and for him.
  • I met a couple who left a horrible ‘religious’ movement through a series of incredible, miraculous events. The lingering pain and need for healing after the years they spent in that movement was palpable.  And the rising confidence that God is good and for them because of Jesus Christ was also evident.  It is a privilege to pray for such people.

So much joy in the midst of so much pain.

I didn’t feel ‘fainthearted’ as we went down to Chicago to meet and pray with these friends of Desiring God.  Maybe I was and didn’t realize I was in danger, so God provided the encouragement I needed in an unexpected way through these stories and examples of people walking confidently in faith in the midst of suffering.  Whatever the reason, I’m glad for it because I was encouraged and helped through their stories.

And I was reminded of this simple truth: God is glorious and good to us in ways we cannot begin to comprehend.  Let us use our stories to point people to the source of hope and to encourage each other, for God’s glory and for our joy.

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Who is this God who creates some to live with disabilities (Exodus 4:11)?

July 2, 2012 by John Knight

His infinitely creative. loving, holy capacities are beyond our comprehension.  And he is for us because of Jesus Christ:

What a broad world to roam in, what a sea to swim in is this God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

He is eternal, which means that He antedates time and is wholly independent of it.

Time began in Him and will end in Him. To it He pays no tribute and from it He suffers no change.

He is immutable, which means that He has never changed and can never change in any smallest measure. To change He would need to go from better to worse or from worse to better. He cannot do either, for being perfect He cannot become more perfect, and if He were to become less perfect He would be less than God.

He is omniscient, which means that He knows in one free and effortless act all matter, all spirit, all relationships, all events.

He has no past and He has no future.

He is, and none of the limiting and qualifying terms used of creatures can apply to Him. Love and mercy and righteousness are His, and holiness so ineffable that no comparisons or figures will avail to express it.

A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God, pp. 28-29.

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“Fear not, for I am with you.” God

July 1, 2012 by John Knight

Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
(Isaiah 41:10 ESV)

Pastor John helpfully unpacked this verse in his 1993 sermon, Fear Not, I Am with You, I Am Your God.  I would add one thing to his list below of things that can raise up fear in us: parenting a child with a disability with all the associated cultural baggage, uncertainty about the future, and unusual relational, physical, and emotional expense. Yes, we are called to be free from even that fear:

When God calls you to be free from fear as you do evangelism, as you take a test, as you face an interview, as you take a stand against an unjust business practice, as you confront someone with sin in their life, when you leave a secure position and take a risk in a new venture, when you face an operation or a treatment, when you lose a spouse or a friend—when God calls you to be free from fear (to overcome this natural emotion and have peace), he does not leave the command hanging in the air. He puts pillars under it. Five of them. That’s the nature of all biblical commands. They come with divine support.

  1. Fear not . . . God is with you;
  2. Fear not . . . God is your God;
  3. Fear not . . . God will strengthen you;
  4. Fear not . . . God will help you;
  5. Fear not . . . God will uphold you.

I do not live a fear-free life; it is a battle.  God is greater.  God’s word is an effective weapon in that battle.  His promises are more firm than my (or your) perceptions.

Posted in Scripture, Sermons | 2 Comments »

July 1st is a great time to start!

June 30, 2012 by John Knight

I haven’t done this in a while, but the middle of the year really is a good time to start reading the Bible!

I wrote the following last year, and it still applies:

There are things we know are good for us, but it can be hard to persevere (or even to start).

Reading through the Bible is one of those things – it really is helpful!

It can also be exciting.  God continues to reveal things I hadn’t seen or understood before, even in passages I’ve read many times.

No, there aren’t fireworks of new insight every day, and some days I approach it with a less-than-expectant attitude.  Frequently, God reminds me on those days that he is the source of joy, he is the provider of faith, and he will never leave us.  Sins get revealed and dealt with, and I experience the freedom that Jesus promises.

I pray you’ll find the same.

So this is one of my regular encouragements to do yourself some good and read through the entire Bible.

I can recommend the One-Year Tract Bible Reading Plan provided for free by Crossway.  They also offer several other plans.

Who cares that you’re starting on August 1 rather than January 1!  Next July 31, you’ll have read all of God’s inspired word!

And if you started earlier in the year and just fell too far behind to catch up – so what!  Start again.

If the first plan you choose just doesn’t seem to work, choose another.  By the start of 2012 you’ll already have momentum to keep going.

I’ve been using a different plan this year.  This one has a single reading in the Old Testament and a single reading in the New Testament every day.  I didn’t like it at first, but began to see the benefits of this organization after a while.

So, join me – let us encourage each other to persevere for the sake of our own joy in reading and enjoying God’s word together for the remainder of this year!

 

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God is able in all circumstances to help us.

June 29, 2012 by John Knight

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8 ESV)

This verse was the focus of our devotions at work on Wednesday.  The context is financial (which, given my work responsibilities, was very relevant) but Jon Bloom pointed out that Paul opens it up much broader than that:

  • All grace
  • All sufficiency
  • All things
  • All times
  • Every good work

The one who is providing this is God. This is the same God who knows everything about everything, including how he is orchestrating all things for our good.

I know what it is like to get another medical bill and wonder exactly how it will be paid.  We have had times when we’ve been bone-tired, yet Paul (or some other child) needed attention.  The emotional reservoirs frequently feel empty.

But my perceptions of reality are not reality. God is acting in ways we cannot begin to understand, for his glory and for our good.  Someday we will see clearly.  In the meantime, we have promises like 2 Corinthians 9:8.

And the certainty of eternity with Jesus!

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There is nothing new under the sun. . .

June 28, 2012 by John Knight

Pastor John’s tweet on a recent German court decision hit it perfectly:

When a German court rules circumcision illegal, it is too soon since Kristallnacht not to feel stunned. dsr.gd/LAtPTE

If you follow the link to the article, you can see it is an attack on religious liberty and parental rights in Germany.

We have seen it before in Germany and the United States.  These are the building blocks toward eugenics that apparently this judge cannot see in his desire to ‘protect’ children.  And we know how it violently ends for children and adults with disabilities.

Please pray this foolish decision is overturned quickly, and that this particular march toward greater evil is turned back before it gets worse.

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