The Works of God

Does a man with severe disabilities have the right to become a member of a church?  That isn’t a hypothetical question.  The 9Marks blog dealt with that question yesterday.

9Marks is a great organization that “wants to help local churches re-establish their biblical bearings and re-think their ministry methods.”  Matt Schmucker, their executive director, I have met only once, but I have seen the fruit of his work and appreciate his God-centered heart.

Here is what he wrote yesterday on the subject of membership:

I took a call from an elder in a church yesterday asking about membership for one who has “special needs”, who is apparently severely limited in his ability to relate and converse, to the point of an inability to convey the gospel in any meaningful way.  The parents of this 30 year old man are anxious to have him received into membership.  This family lives in the southern part of the U.S. and, as the elder described it, believe membership is a “right.” Continue Reading »

When disability enters a family, the divergent opinions of multiple perspectives comes with it.  Medical professionals, social workers, educators, neighbors, family and friends may all have different opinions about what they think should be done.

So I smiled with appreciation as I read Caryn Turner’s post, “In Sickness and In Health. . . of Your Child,” in which she points out the things they have chosen to say ‘no’ to in their family.

She is right – every family experiencing disability must make firm decisions or risk being carried along by experts (or even friends and family) who mean well, but who do not necessarily care about the family as a whole or who do not share that family’s perspective about God and his sovereign will.

Yet, as firm as she is in articulating the things they avoid, she closes with this:

I know that there are some seasons that your child with special needs may need more attention, time, and focus. We’ve had several of those seasons with Christian. However, I listed here what we strive to do under “normal” circumstances.

I’m glad she ended on that gracious statement about ‘some seasons.’  I know Dianne and I do things much differently than we did when Paul or any of our children were younger.  Different seasons call for different responses.  And it is good to find a healthy pattern in which to live during those times of ‘normal’ circumstances.

Yet, I have never felt discounted or demeaned by other families at Bethlehem who have chosen different paths.  Some of my choices have been challenged, at times, but never in ways that questioned my desires or affections for my own family or disrespected me as a father.

Given the powerful emotional response that disability can raise up in people (especially me), I find that remarkable and certainly a gift from God.

Since I began working at Desiring God, I have participated in five conferences.  For the most part, my responsibilities are defined by working at a booth and talking to people about Desiring God.

Every conference I have met someone dealing with significant hardships, either personally or in their families: disability, disease, drug or alcohol abuse, death, persecution for beliefs at work or home.  This conference included a dad who lost his adult son to cancer and a grandma whose grandchild lives in a permanent vegetative state with multiple disabilities, among others.

I know I’m ‘out there’ on this issue of disability, but none of these people know that – it just comes up.  So I’m puzzling through why that happens and so far have come up with two possible things:

1. Pastor John talks about suffering – a lot.  Suffering people will find much at Desiring God – books, sermons, conference messages – that help them see God as he truly is in the midst of their suffering: sovereign, strong, intentional, loving, capable.  It makes sense that such people would come to Desiring God conferences.
2. God helps us, often through other people who are faithfully trusting in him.  Given how much God has helped us through, it makes sense that the Holy Spirit would guide some people to me to talk specifically about our situation and the faithfulness of God to us personally.  God has certainly guided me to such people in the past and I expect he will do so again when I need help in the future.

Now, of course, there were hundreds of other people at the conference in the midst of hard circumstances that I didn’t talk to.  Many of my colleagues, both staff and volunteers, also have stories of praying with people suffering under extraordinary burdens.  But I still find it interesting who God brought specifically to me.

Does God do that to you as well?  Do you find yourself in the most sensitive of conversations on the deepest of subjects in unusual, unexpected places?

And rather than being a hardship, I find myself grateful that God introduces me to such people.  God is good!

I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:1-2