One of the curiosities in life is that when people admit a weakness, we tend to trust them more. That’s one of the reasons we’re pretty happy with Paul’s primary care physician; she will, at times, admit we need to make a course correction. She doesn’t let her ego get in the way of evidence.
She admitted recently that one of her colleagues, “a very good doctor,” appeared to be stuck and seeing another specialist was reasonable.
That doesn’t mean the specialist takes it well.
One of our complaints has been that one of Paul’s specialists seems pretty passive, as though he’s given up trying to diagnose and treat Paul’s ‘spells.’ So we’re pursuing a new course.
Dianne called this specialist to let him know our new course of action, to which he replied, what can they do that he couldn’t? That seemed like a silly question, since he hadn’t done anything for several weeks. And, being pushed, he admitted he thought these spells were something that couldn’t be treated successfully.
That was news to us. He had never even inferred that before. But it also seemed like a good reason we should get another opinion, since this doctor had decided it couldn’t be treated. He didn’t agree.
Then he pulled out his trump card: you do realize your son is severely disabled?
That was, we’re assuming, supposed to make these mysterious spells seem not so bad.
Dianne did two things over the next several days that were quite helpful. First, she didn’t tell me all that he said immediately. We’re 15 years into this, so statements like that from the doctor mostly make me tired and discouraged. But there’s still a reservoir of pride and anger (righteous and not) that wants to have justice in this present age. That could have gotten ugly since I have been known to write letters to people’s superiors, and I know what buttons to push.
The second thing Dianne did was not to engage him at all, but to reassert our new course of action and end the conversation. That was the better course.
In reflecting on it, God brought these verses of Benediction to mind:
Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen. Hebrews 13:20-21
Our God is one of peace (I need to lay aside my anger and my pride), who brings people back from the dead (something a little more complicated than diagnosing a young man’s physical issues!) – and he equips us with ‘everything good’ to do his will. Paul’s spells are no mystery to him, and even as we pursue Paul’s good, God will help us do what is most pleasing to him.
And here’s the anchor: through Jesus Christ! What a promise! Another reason to trust promises and not my perceptions.