Weariness. It seems to be a theme of disability. The unrelenting nature of disability wears us out.
And the systems designed to ‘help’ frequently add to the burden – meetings and tests and consultations and more tests and new therapies and changes in diets and ‘make sure everything is done on time in order to exact specifications.’ And don’t forget about the other children.
Weary, confused, discouraged. Gather any group of parents who have children with disabilities and you will hear those thoughts spoken over and over.
This quote in an essay on prayer written in the 1700s by a preacher I had never heard of stuck in a strange book sitting on my shelf came as a huge encouragement to me:
That He inspects the whole and every part of His universe every moment, and orders it according to the counsels of His infinite wisdom and goodness, by His omnipotent will; whose thought is power; and His acts ten thousand times quicker than the light; unconfused in a multiplicity exceeding number, and unwearied through eternity!
How much comfort and encouragement to all good and devout persons are contained in this thought! That almighty God, as he hath His eye continually upon them, so He is employed in directing, or doing what is best for them. Thus may they be sure, indeed, that “all things work together for their good.” They may have the comfort of understanding all the promises of God’s protection, in their natural, full, and perfect sense, not spoiled by that philosophy which is vain deceit. The Lord is truly their Shepherd; not leaving them to chance or fate, but watching over them Himself, and therefore can they lack nothing.
Dr. Samuel Ogden, On Prayer, in Half-Hours with the Best Authors by Charles Knight, 1888, pp. 135-136.
Is that biblical? Consider Psalm 121:
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
8 The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.