We continue to be mystified by Paul’s ‘spells’ that leave him uncomfortable, unable to eat, and without his usual, happy spark.
I hate these episodes. Dianne hates them more.
But we cannot let our emotions rule how we respond and advocate for him with medical professionals. We must be thinking clearly; we must pay careful attention to what is being advised and make rational assessments on his behalf.
And this is nothing compared to some previous episodes, which I know many of you can identify with:
- The surgeon who comes out, in the middle of surgery, to let us know he is seeing something other than what he expected, and now he wants to change the surgical intervention. In seconds, while this new and anxiety-producing information is just being processed, we must make a decision and give our consent to proceed as advised or not.
- Surrounded by professional educators and therapists in IEP or IFSP meetings, a new and devastating ‘diagnosis’ is put on the table without prior knowledge. The ‘team’ wants to make a decision about his educational plan even as this new information is sinking in.
Thinking carefully while feeling and hurting deeply is the only option for those of us dealing with disability.
I’m grateful God is a perfect thinker:
Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! “For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?” Romans 11:33-34
For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. 1 Corinthians 1:25
I’m grateful God feels perfectly with a great love:
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:4-7
And this God, who thinks and feels infinitely more than we can imagine, has promised us that he will help us in our time of need, including when we must think most clearly after getting news that has just shattered and devastated our world:
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
Thank you, Lord, for who you are and that all your promises are true!