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Repost: Breathtaking reality of Jesus and Job

August 23, 2010 by John Knight

First posted on March 11, 2010. Lord willing, our vacation is coming to an end and we’re on our way home as this is posted.  I am praying as I prepare this on Aug. 10 that I will have kept up the good and helpful discipline of devotions throughout my vacation. What a mistake it would have been to have all this ‘time’ and not spent it in his word for real help and refreshment!

I am using the One-Year Tract Bible Reading Plan to help me read through the Bible this year.

For March 9, there was this stunning, breathtaking reality right next to each other in the readings from Luke 23 and Job 38:

Luke 23:44 It was now about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour, 45 while the sun’s light failed. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. 46 Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” And having said this he breathed his last.

Job 38: Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said:

2 “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?
3 Dress for action like a man;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.

4 “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.”

We are as nothing before God.  How did we ever conceive of the idea that we could question God or his motives or his authority?  We were not there when he created all things, and we didn’t (and don’t) have the power to do what God can do.

But Jesus was there.

John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

The Father gave us Jesus.  He who knew no sin became sin so that his righteousness could be given to us.  And that Jesus, knowing what he would experience in obedience to the Father, shouted at the most critical moment of all, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!”  Jesus knew he could trust his Father.

This is overwhelming.

We cannot compare to God on any level.  ’I do not do the good I want’ (Romans 7:19), while God “has distributed freely, he has given to the poor; his righteousness endures forever” (2 Corinthians 9:9).

And this God with that power to create out of nothing who grants us a savior we don’t deserve and a righteousness we could never, ever earn – this is the God we are ready to judge because he creates some who will live with a disability?

The One who has infinite knowledge, wisdom, power, authority, righteousness, holiness and justice should somehow subordinate himself to us because our puny, finite, limited sense of fairness says that God should only behave a certain way regarding disability?

We think we have that right to judge this God?  Based exactly on what?

Posted in Scripture | 2 Comments »

Repost: “I have a resolve to make Scripture verses part of Michael’s life.”

August 22, 2010 by John Knight

First posted on January 9, 2010:

A convicting and helpful guest post from my friend, Jan Lacher:

I have been incredibly inspired this week as I have listened to Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  The subject  over the past three days has been memorizing Scripture.

Usually, every morning, as I give Michael his medications and tube feeding, Revive Our Hearts blares across the radios in my home.  I typically listen to the program as I move from one room to another, going about my work getting Michael ready for the day. The  featured guest this week  has been a seasoned saint,  Nancy Epperson.

On Wednesday, the discussion between Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Nancy Epperson  peaked my interest, and I found myself nodding as they talked about all of the benefits of memorizing God’s Word. As a side note,  I have memorized some of our fighter verses over these past years.  I have had to learn them and relearn them.   I have taught my “normal” children fighter verses; although, I would argue that I did not teach them enough Scripture.  As Revive Our Hearts played, I contemplated how there has not been anything that I have done that has been more beneficial than memorizing the Word of God.  

My mind was swirling as I pondered the question that if memorizing parts of the Bible are so beneficial, why don’t I do more of it? Why am I not memorizing full chapters and possibly books? I certainly know the benefits and have experienced them.   Since Michael’s birth, I have been like a rock skipping across the lake as I have learned some verses and then having periods where I do not. For a variety of reasons, I have not been as consistent these past several years as I would like to be.   I sighed at the thought of the work that it would take to regain the momentum to do such a task as memorize verses and eventually chapters.

My attention was refocused on the program.  The two Nancys continued their discussion.   Then Nancy Epperson  said something that stopped me dead in the middle of Michael’s  feeding.  A segment from the January 6th transcript speaks for itself:

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Now, don’t go too fast past that because there are a lot of people who will say, “I can’t memorize Scripture.”

Nancy Epperson: They will say that, but can I tell you something? That is not true. It’s true people say it, but it truly is a lie hatched in the pit of hell that Satan loves us to think. The fact is, everybody can.

Now, listen. I’ll never forget this. About 35 years ago, I was at a church in Winston, Salem. They had a group of young adults who were very mentally deficient. They could barely articulate. They were severely retarded, severely. They got up in this church—I will never forget it as long as I live—they quoted verse after verse after verse with the reference—verse after verse.

I’m telling you, I knew exactly, exactly why they could do that, because some precious, dear saint had spent hundreds of hours with them. Those precious, severely retarded young adults just quoted and quoted and quoted. It was just such a blessing.

I realized then anybody honestly can quote Scripture if you’ll go over it enough times. Stop and think about it. Think of all the things you know from memory.

When I heard the story above, my heart jumped.  Michael falls into the severely to profoundly mentally retarded category. Plus, he is nonverbal.  We have no way of knowing what he understands and how he processes information.    We try to teach him simple commands that would aide in his care such as “lean forward” when bathing his back. And through the shear repetition of that command  and through physical prompting, he has learned to do so.   But, I must admit, I have not contemplated  teaching him  Bible verses.  Who knows what he could glean from the repetition of Scripture being spoken to him when he rises up and when he lies down?   Also who knows  how the Holy Spirit could  use it to strengthen and under-gird him in all of his difficulties?

After listening to this program,  I have come away with a renewed vision and a resolve to make Scripture verses part of Michael’s life.  He may never be able to quote the references and verses, but God’s Word does not return void. I am determined to get my hardhat on my head and do the heavy “work” of imparting Scripture to our sweet Fox.

(Note from John: Jan reported last week that she’s continuing to work with Michael on his verse.  What an encouragement to persevere!)

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Repost: Jesus is God-centered in why he heals

August 21, 2010 by John Knight

First posted January 13, 2010:

I was blown away, again, by God’s purposes in healing the paralytic of his disability:

“But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he said to the paralytic— “I say to you, rise, pick up your bed, and go home.” (Mark 2:10-11)

Do you feel the earth move at that statement?  Healing this man of his disability was certainly a good and kind thing, but it was not the main thing.  Jesus’ authority to forgive sins is the main thing.  And he healed him “that you may know” that Jesus has this authority.  This knowledge is a kindness extended to everyone, not just the one man who was healed.

So, it is good to fight the temptation to make physical healing the main thing in our relationship with Jesus.

And we see another example of this authority in John 5:1-18, the healing at the pool of Bethesda.  Pastor John helpfully provided this statement in a sermon on that passage:

Jesus seeks out the man in the temple and tells him the real issue in his healing. “Afterward Jesus found him in the temple and said to him, ‘See, you are well! Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you.’” What’s the issue? The issue is holiness mainly, not health. “I have healed you to make you holy.”

I pray earnestly for my wife, that God would continue to hold her cancer at bay.  Praying for healing is a very good  and appropriate thing.  But it is a good thing only because it is subordinate to the main thing: Jesus Christ, my savior and my God.

Posted in Scripture, Sermons | Leave a Comment »

Book Signing at Desiring God National Conference!

August 20, 2010 by John Knight

Krista Horning will be signing her book, Just the Way I Am: God’s Good Design in Disability on Saturday, October 2 at the Desiring God National Conference.

Now is a great time of year to think about this book as a gift to others as well!

If you are attending or volunteering at the conference, please plan on coming to this book signing.

I’ll be there as well and would love to greet you and hear your story about how God is using this book!

Posted in Book Commentary, News | Leave a Comment »

Repost: A ‘hermeneutic of suspicion’ because of disability?

August 19, 2010 by John Knight

I love the word of God. This post from February came while I was reflecting on some very hard things about disability and the Bible.  I do not mean they were hard because they were difficult; they were hard because of how badly they treated God’s word. We must be ready to respond.

Hermeneutics is defined by Random House as:

  1. the science of interpretation, esp. of the Scriptures.
  2. the branch of theology that deals with the principles of Biblical exegesis.

A few years ago I was introduced to the term ‘hermeneutic of suspicion’ in the book, Copious Hosting, by Jeanie Weis Block:

“Therefore, scriptural exegesis of the disability passages begins with a “hermeneutic of suspicion,” asking a question not unlike the question posed by many feminist theologians when they inquire if Scripture, with its decidedly patriarchal bias, can be relevant and meaningful to women. Likewise, disability advocates must ask difficult questions such as: Do the Scriptures have an ‘ableist’ bias that ultimately oppresses people with disabilities?” p. 101

While it was buried 100 pages into the book, statements like that just jump off the page.  The arrogance that we have greater wisdom than the Scriptures is stunning – but very, very common.  And not new.

C.S. Lewis wrote a series of essays addressing the idea that we get to judge God and Scriptures rather than see ourselves as standing before God deserving his judgment.  He titled it, God in the Dock.   And he wrote those essays between 1940 and 1963.

We can keep going back into history.  I actually thought of the above quote from Weis Block’s book while reading Luke 6:

On another Sabbath, he entered the synagogue and was teaching, and a man was there whose right hand was withered. And the scribes and the Pharisees watched him, to see whether he would heal on the Sabbath, so that they might find a reason to accuse him.  Luke 6:6-7

The scribes and the Pharisees wanted to SEE A MIRACLE so they could accuse him.  Even observable evidence of omnipotent authority over creation only fueled their certainty that Jesus couldn’t be who he said he was. Talk about a hermeneutic of suspicion!

God does not fit into easy categories because only God is free and righteous and just and holy – all in infinite proportions.  When he says he creates some who are disabled,  he is speaking and acting out of his infinite depths of knowledge and righteousness, not our time-centered, sin-filled, finite perspective.

A ‘hermeneutic of suspicion’ of the Scriptures?  No, never.  Please, when certain passages are hard to understand, take the opportunity to dig deeper rather than become suspicious of the author and his authority to do whatever he wills with his creation.  For his glory and our good.

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Repost: “I just want my child to be happy. . .”

August 18, 2010 by John Knight

First posted on January 4, 2010:

Isn’t that what every parent wants?  Of course there’s a great difference  between our culture’s understanding of happiness and Christian hedonism!

I know the following statement has lots of exceptions; I try to stay away from sweeping, romantic statements about disability and happiness.  But the contrast offered by Dr. C. Everett Koop was just too good to pass up because of how our culture views disability, normalcy and the opportunity to experience happiness:

Yet it has been my constant experience that disability and unhappiness do not go hand in hand. The most unhappy children I have known have been completely normal. On the other hand, there is remarkable joy and happiness in the lives of most handicapped children; yet some have borne burdens which I would have found difficult to face indeed.

C. Everett Koop, M.D., Sc.D.
former Surgeon General, U.S. Public Health Service

Twenty-fifth Anniversary Foundation Day Lecture
Our Lady’s Hospital for Sick Children, Dublin, Ireland

Posted in News | 1 Comment »

Repost: Why Bethlehem College and Seminary is Important to Disability Ministry

August 17, 2010 by John Knight

This week marks the beginning of orientation for the new students of Bethlehem College and Seminary.  This post from December 30, 2009 continues to reflect my desires for and affections of all the people involved with this new venture.

Pastor John wrote his thanks to God for Bethlehem College and Seminary this morning.  I join him in praising God for this initiative at Bethlehem!

Disability ministries need pastors who have been prepared like Pastor John hopes they will be through BCS:

At the heart of this vision is the invincible God, the infallible Bible, and the indispensible Gospel of Jesus Christ. We want future pastors to be stunned by the greatness of God. And stay stunned by living in the Bible. And spread this amazement to sinners, who qualify through faith alone because of the Gospel.

We want them to love the church. The real live, blemished, blood-bought bride of Christ. So we sink them into ministry while they are here.

Why is that so important for a disability ministry?

Because disability is hard.  We need to know that God is sovereign over all things and good at all times in the midst of hard things.

We NEED pastors who are stunned by the greatness of God.

We need our pastors to be rock-solid in their understanding of who God is, able to articulate the truth of the Bible, and able to personally demonstrate how glad they are to be dependent on him.  Then they can love people in the midst of deepest pain and struggle – because God will provide for them and through them what their hurting people need.

So I am excited about BCS and invite you to join me in praying for them, for the sake of churches that may not yet even exist and children with disabilities not yet born and adults who have not yet experienced disability.

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Repost: “How do I think about this without becoming overwhelmed with grief?”

August 16, 2010 by John Knight

One of the most-commented on posts for the past year.  This was first presented on May 27, 2010.

Many thanks to my friend, Jan Lacher, for writing this post today – JPK

This past Monday night, I cried some lukewarm tears.

My three older children played piano pieces for their yearly piano recitals.  Christina played Firefly Fandango by Bober.  David performed Beethoven’s Sonata, c#minor,Op.27#2, Adagio.  My senior, Jonathon, performed Chopin’s famous Nocturne Eb Major.  It was bitter-sweet listening to Jonathon, realizing that it would probably be his last performance that I would be privileged  to hear. Eleven years of practice and recitals will be done.  Sigh…  Warm tears dripped onto my starched, white blouse even as I was biting my thumb nails and holding my breathe until it was over.  Such is the torture of a parent.

At one point in the evening though, I had tears for another reason.

One of our good friend’s daughters, the youngest of six children, performed a phenomenal piece.  Eight-year old Julia played A Touch of a Dream by Cuellar with beauty and grace.  She is gifted musically, as her other siblings are.

While she performed it, I realized that she was only six weeks older than Michael. Michael seems so much younger.  Of course, mentally, he is.   I could not help noticing the contrast between her and Michael as she gracefully approached the grand piano and displayed her musical gifts even as Michael bounced away in his wheelchair in the church foyer.

I was not at all  jealous of her ability.  I was not envious.  But, a deep sorrow set in at that realization, and lukewarm tears dripped, dripped, and dripped.  I loved listening to the music and rejoiced with her parents at her beautiful performance.  But, it was shadowed with the loss of all the possibilities that could have been for Michael.

How do I think about this without becoming overwhelmed with grief?

Events like piano recitals seem to punctuate disability with an exclamation point. I need to have a way to think about his life without becoming overwhelmed with grief.    So in my mind, I am learning to shift my attention  and fast-forward  it to a time when some day, Michael will be made whole.  There will be a time when he will have full functionality and will have the ability to learn “the masters” and so much more.

I  look forward to that reality.  But in the meantime, I am learning to be content and patient with the truth and hope that the Gospel brings.  Maybe some day both Michael and I will have the opportunity, with perfection and zeal, to perform on a keyboard a duet called the Hungarian Rhapsody.  I envision how with high drama we will smoke the keys together.   Instead of lukewarm tears, there will be tears of joy and gladness.

What a glorious time that will be.

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Repost: “True and abiding joy isn’t in being burden-less” – Chris Nelson

August 15, 2010 by John Knight

Lord willing, we’re somewhere between Sioux Falls and Custer, South Dakota as you read this on Sunday.  This is a repeat of a post written by my friend and fellow dad, Chris Nelson, from June 22, 2010.

The Pursuit of Happiness

The depth of human depravity is readily apparent when we are “me” centered rather than God-centered.  When the pursuit of personal happiness trumps the pursuit of holiness.  When we are so busy pursuing our sin-saturated mud puddles that we neglect to even consider what it might mean to embrace God’s offer of an eternal holiday at the sea.

On June 8 it was reported in a story on startribune.com that a Colorado woman was accused of killing her 6 month old baby.  Her motive?  “She believed the boy was autistic and thought his condition would ruin her life.”

She killed her own baby, knitted together in her womb by her Sovereign and Loving Creator, because she thought he might cramp her style.  She reportedly considered taking her own life instead, but didn’t want to unduly burden her husband with the child.  That’s chilling.  That’s real.  That’s the overflow of the human heart un-broken and un-repentant over sin, and un-surrendered to the restraining and sustaining and transforming mercy and grace of God as revealed in Christ Jesus.

As I reflected on this story, and my own struggle to mortify my sin as it is daily revealed to me through the gift of a mentally disabled son, Pastor John’s word from his sermon Sustained by Sovereign Grace-Forever, came to mind:

Not grace to bar what is not bliss,
Nor flight from all distress, but this:
The grace that orders our trouble and pain,
And then, in the darkness, is there to sustain.

True and abiding joy isn’t in being burden-less.  It is in being upheld and transformed through the burden by the grace of God.  It is, when facing often weighty temptations to wallow in despair and anger and self pity, to repent afresh of our sin and gaze up from the foot of the cross to marvel at the one who paid our debt, and to freshly turn our focus to the risen Lord and His purposes, rather than our pathetic pursuits of momentary and fleeting escape from hard things.

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Repost: Guilt Producers: The Family Vacation

August 14, 2010 by John Knight

Today we’re headed for our week away without Paul (or internet access). This post is a repeat of one I wrote last year on the subject of spending time away from him.  Lord willing, fresh content will return around August 25.

This week we pack up the van and head out for our annual family vacation. Which means that I will be dealing with a nagging guilt.

Why? Because Paul will stay with his grandmother for the week.

The reason I struggle with guilt can be summarized in two statements:
  • How can we call it a family vacation when a member of the family isn’t around!  Logically I know this is our future anyway as my children grow up and leave home.  So this one nags at me a little, but not as much as the next one.
  • He isn’t included because of his multiple disabilities.  I feel like I’m discriminating against my own son because of his disabilities.
Then the other nagging questions start to add up: what am I teaching my children about their brother; what if something happens to him; what makes me think anybody can take care of him like we can; what if I enjoy this week without him a little too much?

Do you have a guilt-producer like that?

Thankfully, having him stay with Grandma-on-the-farm is a good thing:

  • He’s comfortable, safe and loved.
  • Grandma has things that he likes to do.  A week on a farm is a great thing for a kid.  Where we’re going on vacation, he would be bored.
  • All the ‘stuff’ that he needs is easily accessible.
  • Everything slows down when Paul is around, and the other kids enjoy a few days of just going as the Spirit leads us.
And I’m grateful that we now have the benefit of doing this for several years, and it actually works out pretty well.  Paul, in his own way, has indicated in the past that his week has been just fine.  The other children really do enjoy the unhindered access they have to Dianne and me.

Having Paul away for a week has not translated into their thinking less of their brother or that he is a nuisance when we are all back together.  My daughter will probably miss him as much, possibly more, than I do because of the special relationship she has with him.

We know lots of families where one or several children have disabilities.  Some do what we do.  Others do not.  Thankfully, this ‘fraternity’ of families is very gracious and decisions like these fall under the ‘do what you need to’ category without condemnation from anyone.  That’s one of the great benefits of being part of this unusual network of families and helps quiet the nagging questions.

And I know that he is in God’s good care, and God has provided a diligent, wonderful woman to care for him in his grandmother who also trusts Jesus.  When Paul writes that “God will supply every need of yours” in Philippians 4:19 he meant things like this as well.  And when Paul writes, “do not be anxious about anything” in Philippians 4:6, he meant this, too.

So, today I am not surprised by that annual feeling of guilt and glad to have multiple ways to address it.  In the scheme of things, this isn’t that big of a deal and Paul is also given a pleasant vacation.

But when the consequences are bigger and Paul’s (or Dianne’s or the other children’s) comfort, future, or even life is at stake, I’d rather have a history of trusting in the promises of God, even on small things like this, than in my feeble, finite, short-term vision and abilities.  God is that capable, that interested in the small things for his glory, and that good.

P.S.  And we have all vacationed together. Joni Camp at Castaway Club is wonderful and has been a tremendous blessing.  Just not this year.

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