The Works of God

As I wander about I get to meet quite a few pastors and leaders of churches.  You won’t be shocked to learn that I manage to work in this question: do you have a disability ministry?

I would get three responses:

1. A description of what they are doing.
2. A description of what they hope they would do in the future.
3. Looking at their shoes and saying they didn’t do anything.

Number 3 happened more than 1 and 2 combined.  Frankly, that wasn’t very encouraging!  It was also something of a conversation killer.

But I stumbled across a different way to phrase it which has given me more insight into churches that is far more encouraging:

Tell me about your members with disabilities.

Sometimes they still look at their shoes and admit they don’t have any members with disabilities.  But more often will come a grin (at the delight they have in their members with disabilities) or a sigh (at the tremendous burdens and suffering they see in their members with disabilities), and then a story or two or three.

People are being served in many churches without any sort of formal disability ministry, and because it isn’t formal it often isn’t recognized as ministry.  But when I hear about individuals or families experiencing disability being served or having their gifts being used by the church, I am encouraged and hopefully speak encouragement into those pastors and leaders!

These individual efforts are worth pointing out and honoring because it is valuable in itself and it might be the beginning of something much larger. Most churches that have a recognized disability ministry began with a few people just doing what needed to be done for other people in the congregation.  In fact, I can’t think of any that didn’t start that way.

And some pastors don’t even know what service is happening in their churches!  I had an experience where a pastor looked at his shoes after I asked about members with disabilities, then later in the evening one of his own members talked about how happy they were that a child with a disability was welcome at that same church. That pastor may not have known the specifics of all his people, but he’s obviously creating a culture that is welcoming for that family.  And that’s something to encourage and to be encouraged about!

So, what do you think of my change in phrasing?  Is there an even better way to ask about what is happening in churches?

I do believe that deeply rooted in every human heart is a longing for beauty. Why do we go to the Grand Canyon, the Boundary Waters, art exhibits, gardens? Why do we plant trees and flower beds? Why do we paint our inside walls? Why is it man and not the monkeys who decorated cave walls with pictures? Why is it that in every tribe of humans ever known there has always been some form of art and craftsmanship that goes beyond mere utility? Is it not because we long to behold and be a part of beauty? We crave to be moved by some rare glimpse of greatness. We yearn for a vision of glory.

John Piper, Jesus Is Precious Because We Yearn for Beauty, March 28, 1982

I would agree!  And we found some while we were away.

Paul wouldn’t have enjoyed all the hiking that required.  But we had different ways for him to enjoy our time away from home, like a second celebration of his birthday with his other grandma.

I finished three books and made good progress on a fourth while we were away.

One of those books is being released at the end of this month.  When I finished it and turned off my iPad, I praised God for the man and the book.  I’ll have more to say about that book later in the month.

And then I thought about Joni & Friends and The Elisha Foundation (among others) and books by Greg Lucas, Nancy Guthrie, Paul Wolfe, and Paul Miller (among others) and the churches that have done disability ministry long before Bethlehem like Grace Church in Eden Prairie and College Church in Wheaton and McLean Bible Church in Virginia (among others) and the good pastor-fathers of disabled children I know like Kempton and Paul and Steve (among others).

And Desiring God’s conference on disability and the bible this fall.

God is up to something big. I don’t know exactly what, but let’s keep praying for more!

Dr.Linda Treloar, writer of the the article, Disability, spiritual  beliefs and the church: the experiences of adults with disabilities and family members, presents a refreshingly positive view of Christian belief with some findings that pastors should find helpful.  Unfortunately the article is owned by a journal that only provides libraries and subscribers access, so I cannot link to it here.

She makes great attempts to be fair in her descriptions.  For example, here is how she describes Evangelical Christians:

Evangelical Christians recognize the Bible as the inerrant, inspired word of God in its original writings. Biblical scriptures, the active living word of God, provide direction for living (see National Association of Evangelicals 2002, Scottsdale Bible Church 2002).

No political references and no pejorative language.  The entire article is written the same way, through the description of the study itself to the recruiting process through the findings.  I do not believe that Dr. Treloar has any particular connection with or affection for Christian beliefs, but she is certainly sympathetic to her study participants.  Frequently she lets them tell their own stories:

One person said to me, ‘Don’t you hate God if He would do this to you?  That He chose you to have a child with a disability?’ Very strong words. Why, who am I? I don’t have a right to say to God, ‘Who are you to do that to me?’ I’m His child, so is Michelle. He’s doing what He sees best for us, even though we don’t necessarily see the big picture. Most of us have a limited perspective of who we are in relation to God, even people that go to church regularly.

Dr. Treloar appears to be most interested in what actually helped people put their experience of disability into perspective, so there is very little interpretting of whether the study participants are ‘right’ in their beliefs or not.  I believe that to be a weakness of the study, but it also allows her to go where the study participants take her rather than to pre-determined conclusions.

And she presents some very helpful advice for churches:

Several religious factors positively influenced the participants’ responses to challenges associated with disability. God was at the centre of the participants’ ultimate concerns. They used the Bible and their faith to provide meaning for their lives (emphasis mine). They experienced decreased spiritual distress for disability when their life circumstances were congruent with their spiritual beliefs. While high religious support by the church promoted positive adaptation to disability, it was not as important as the participants’ personal relationship with Jesus Christ (emphasis mine).

In other words, encourage the study of the Bible and a right understanding of Jesus Christ!  And a common outcome of such an understanding?

What the participants’ believed influenced their response to life. The participants chose to live with joy and thankfulness despite stresses associated with disability. This reflected their belief in God’s greater purpose and plan for their lives.

The study participants also made recommendations:

The participants emphasized the need for increased assistance by the church in establishing theological meaning for disability (emphasis mine). Lack of a biblical foundation for achieving meaning in disability promoted spiritual distress and movement away from God and the church for a few participants.

There are weaknesses to this study:

1. It focused on Evangelical Christians, who would more naturally be oriented toward trusting in and granting authority to the Bible.  People who do not share these beliefs can easily dismiss the study conclusions as irrelevant to their experiences.
2. The study was very small – less than 30 participants.
3. Christianity is still presented as a means of coping, providing understanding and/or meaning for disability.  While sympathetic to the positive benefits for believing in Jesus Christ, there is no case made for him being the central authority in all the universe as he is described in the Bible: All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made (John 1:3).

And maybe I give this study too much credit because it reflects my own experience. As I have written before, God-centered people were very helpful in pointing me to Jesus, but it was God’s word that has proven decisive over and over again, exactly where she is pointing.

But I find it very encouraging that a secular, peer-reviewed journal would seriously consider the positive benefits of Christian belief.  And the findings did not end on a note of developing new programs or counseling methods, but on providing a right theological framework.

And that is something everyone, disabled or non-disabled, should be pursuing in the church.

And the blind and the lame came to him in the temple, and he healed them. But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying out in the temple, “Hosanna to the Son of David!” they were indignant, and they said to him, “Do you hear what these are saying?” And Jesus said to them, “Yes; have you never read,

My apologies for the quality of the video.

Actually, I’m not sure what round we’re on. There have been several.

Yesterday we received Paul’s test scores in the mail from last spring’s Minnesota Test of Academic Skills. The Saint Paul schools always send these scores about this time of year.

His score:  zero.  

And that was on the alternate achievement standards test for kids in special education.

After a few of these I expected it, but the stark reality of the score still makes me pause, because I have a decision to make in that moment:

• Do I consider all the assets Paul has and brings to our house to balance off this rotten score?  Do I think about how loving and happy he is?  Do I add in how happy his sister is to serve him?  Do I consider how he has helped me view the world differently?  Do I hope in his innocence?

All of these are good things, but I’m back to me trying to give him some value that can justify his existence.  And eventually it just makes me think about all the things he can’t do.

• Or do I obliterate my desire to find comfort in temporal, earthly things, even good things, and remember what God has to say about his creation and his elect?  Things like:

Jeremiah 29:11-13 For I know the plans I have for you, declares theLord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

Isaiah 43:1-2 But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob,he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.

2 Timothy 1:8-12 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, for which I was appointed a preacher and apostle and teacher,which is why I suffer as I do.

I do not need to justify my son’s existence to the world. I may and do have to defend him, but God has already confirmed his value because God gave him life.  And God created Paul for God’s own purposes, which do not include high test scores. All the other joyful things, like Paul’s generally happy disposition, are just benefits.

So, the score came, and the pause came, and I did not succumb to the temptation to make much of the earthly gifts Paul has. That is a grace from God as I have frequently failed at that first moment.  But not this time.  Lord willing, not the next time, either.

My wife recently enjoyed a great evening with other moms of children with disabilities.

Apparently the subject of “things people say to us” came up. 

A popular one we have all heard is “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.”  Generally in a group of parents with disabled children, people will either start to laugh uproariously at how ridiculous this is, or begin to weep at the burden of constantly not measuring up.  Why?  Because disability is hard and we know it is way more than we can handle.

This statement is particularly hard because it sounds scriptural, sort of: 

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Pastor John wrote a nice article on this text way back in 1976, and this recent blog entry by Aaron Armstrong on Blogging Theologically also does a good job examining the 1 Corinthians 10:13 text. 

But even knowing this more accurate biblical context, how do you respond when somebody says that to you? 

Here are a few things I try to keep in mind:

• They mean well.  They don’t generally get it (otherwise they wouldn’t say it), but they really want to say something helpful.  And they certainly don’t want to make things harder on us.
• They are usually REALLY happy not to have to deal with what you have been given.  From that viewpoint, they do understand something of your situation; you probably wouldn’t have chosen to deal with it, either.
• They are exposing their understanding of who God is, and are opening a door for you to explain who God really is.  God wants us to be entirely dependent on him (see Psalm 40 for how good this is!), because that is the kindest thing possible.  We will not learn dependence on God if we can ‘handle’ it ourselves.
• God understands what he has given us ‘to handle’ and knows exactly how it will bring him glory and will work out for our good.
• I know that if I respond in anger (or worse, with violence), that I have just extended the amount of time I need to deal with this statement.  And, yes, I have wanted to punch people in the nose who have said this to me.  Just not lately, because God continues to teach me his character and how good he really is to me in light of my sin.

 So, as I think about it, I am considering saying this the next time I hear that statement said to me: 

Thank you for wanting to encourage me.  In fact, God does give me more than I can handle, and I am grateful to experience his strength in my weakness.

What do you think of that?  Would that make things better or worse?

For several months I’ve been reading Theology, Disability and the New Genetics: Why Science Needs the Church.  It is a dense book (I frequently have to read things two or three times just to begin to understand what these doctors, scientists, philosophers and theologians are writing), filled with essays from a symposium by the same name held in 2005 at the University of Aberdeen.  I am grateful to God for the abilities I see evidenced in this book, some forming significant arguments in defense of those living with disabilities.  Some, however, write in ways that are both clever and dangerous to those individuals not-yet-born who have disabilities.

Occasionally I become concerned about how arguments are framed in defense of individuals with disabilities.  They come periously close to the arguments used by those who believe that babies with disabilities are better off aborted, or those who see older people with disabilities as entirely liabilities for which society should not have to pay.  Why should we expect that using the same arguments with different information will work?

For example, Bernd Wannenwetsch, in his complicated, sophisticated essay he prepared for that 2005 symposium entitled, “Angels with Clipped Wings: the Disabled as Key to the Recognition of Personhood,” writes:

Hans Reinders points out the significance of a ‘transformation experience’ that those who care for the disabled often undergo and testify.  A peculiar transformation happens as the focus shifts from agonizing about the experience of a multiform hardship that is thought to await them to theactual experience of living with this particular human being and the multiform way in which they find themselves managing and growing in the process of facing difficulties as they actual (sic) encounter them. (Theology, Disability and the New Genetics, p. 194)

The problem with that statement isn’t that it is wrong – it is entirely true in my experience, and for many parents of children with disabilities that I know.

The problem is that it is an argument based on utility.  In this case, caring for a person with a disability results in the benefit of personal transformation.  Because there is a benefit, the person with the disability has value.  That is an extremely dangerous place to land.

It is much the same case I find myself making at times; I have told countless people that being Paul’s dad and dealing with the daily issues related to disability have been worth it for all the benefits that I have accrued. Others agree that this is a good argument to make.  Frequently I have seen comments on blogs and in editorials arguing from the benefits experienced.  It does not take long to find someone (like me) saying or writing, “if only people could experience the love and joy I receive from my child, they would understand his worth.”

Unfortunately, someone who does not want to deal with all the complications of raising a child with a disability can make the same argument with equal intellectual integrity and greater societal approval: “I do not want to put someone else through such pain and suffering, nor do I want to experience such deep pain and suffering personally, nor are the benefits of such a transformation observably sufficient for me to want to deal with this issue for the rest of my life.”  Combined with a cultural expectation, often reinforced by doctors, that such a life isn’t worth living, we see the results in the declining numbers of children being born who have identifiable disabilities in the womb.

So, if highlighting benefits isn’t the best argument, what is?  Justin Taylor writes Between Two Worlds and consistently provides good resources to help make better arguments in defense of pre-born children, including children with disabilities.  His blog just yesterday introduced me to yet another author who sounds promising.

As one who celebrates the sovereignty of God in ALL things, the best argument I can make is one based on what I see from the Bible, which also makes me frequently look foolish to those who do not believe either the Bible’s authority as God’s word or the sovereignty of God in all things.  But it is the best one I have: who God intentionally creates, I will serve in the strength God provides, for his glory and for my good.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. Psalm 139:13-16

Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord?” Exodus 4:11

Whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 4:11b

 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ Matthew 25:40

Ultimately, the transformation we should be talking about isn’t the one we experience from parenting a child with a disability, it is the eternal transformation that comes from faith in Jesus, understanding ourselves as entirely sin-filled and needing an imputed righteousness only Jesus can provide because only he is sinless.  I deserve far worse than parenting my son with disabilities. Knowing that this God who can create out of nothing and who provides a savior to deal with my sin is also going to provide for all of my needs in parenting puts things into their proper perspective: a few decades dealing with disability will be as nothing someday, whether or not I experience any benefits at all from raising a child with a disability.  The fact that I do experience benefits in raising this particular child, who will never earn an income and who will never live on his own, is all grace and mercy, and entirely undeserved.

Dr. Wannenwetsch follows up what I quoted from his essay, not standing on that single argument but pressing into the definition of personhood in ways I find encouraging:

This is why we can say that the life of a human being that we perceive as ‘disabled’ or ‘retarded’ is central instead of peripheral to the language-game of personhood.  It is so because of its critical character – critical not in terms of the ontological question in regard to ‘them’ (are they a fully human being?) but in terms of the challenge it puts to us: our moral response to its challenge on our expectations, career-planning, general outlook in life, both in individuals and in society at large. (p. 196)

In other words, don’t waste the opportunity to bring that disabled baby into the world; he or she is central to how you will understand and respond to everything. And I would add, that life is important to God.

Frequently I hear from parents what I have also experienced – that our children with disabilities bring qualities and a sweetness into our lives that we would have never received but for their disabilities.  And frequently our children’s disabilities, and the extraordinary difficulties of parenting a child who is different in this culture, are the very means by which God demonstrates his power and mercy in our lives.  The promises of God become very precious.

But do we believe every promise is for our children with disabilities, particularly for those children with disabilities that make them very vulnerable and weak?

Consider this familiar passage from Romans 8:35-39.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,

 “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I love the not-being-separated part, for myself and for my son.  I understand about being slaughtered for God’s sake.  I love the ‘for I am sure’ part as well.  But ‘more than a conqueror’?  How can that be for my very small, vulnerable, blind son with autism?

Pastor John answers it for me in Don’t Waste Your Life (pp 96-97):

One biblical answer is that a conqueror defeats his enemy, but one who is more than a conqueror subjugates his enemy. A conqueror nullifies the purpose of his enemy; one who is more than a conqueror makes the enemy serve his own purposes. A conqueror strikes down his foe; one who is more than a conqueror makes his foe his slave.

Practically what does this mean? Let’s use Paul’s own words in 2 Corinthians 4:17: “This slight momentary affliction is preparing [effecting, or working, or bringing about] for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.” Here we could say that “affliction” is one of the attacking enemies. What has happened in Paul’s conflict with it? It has certainly not separated him from the love of Christ. But even more, it has been taken captive, so to speak. It has been enslaved and made to serve Paul’s everlasting joy. “Affliction,” the former enemy, is now working for Paul. It is preparing for Paul “an eternal weight of glory.” His enemy is now his slave. He has not only conquered his enemy. He has more than conquered him.

So, my son, who’s days AND disabilities were planned for and implemented by my good and righteous God (Psalm 139:16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.) for his glory – that son has already demonstrated he is more than a conqueror.  His disability, the very thing the enemy was using to shipwreck my faith, was the means God used and uses today to bring me to the cross.

Yes, Lord, I believe my boy is more than a conqueror through Jesus.  And this sweet, hard-to-hear song in this video takes on a new significance in light of that reality.  I imagine heaven rejoices and demons quake when this little boy sings about being in the Lord’s army.