The Works of God

Many of us follow Greg Lukas’ blog, Wrestling with an Angel.  His post last Thursday considers the question about salvation for our children with significant cognitive disabilities:

I have poured over God’s promises like a doctor searching for a cure of the deadly disease in his own child, looking for hope and confidence in this grey area of my son’s life. There are many passages that give hints to the question I pose, but in the end I believe the passage in Ephesians 2 brings the most peace to my own soul—that Jake’s state is really no different from my own.

I recommend the entire post.

I sure hope to meet this brother someday!

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A new friend asked a difficult question recently, and I thought I would invite others to respond, especially those who have thought more about this topic or have more experience than I have.

Here is the question:

Our oldest boy is unsure of the existence of God, as an autistic person.  How do his daddy and I show him and teach the wonders of a perfect God that he can’t feel, see etc? His ability to think abstractly is remote to nonexistent. . . However, when looking for indications of Patch’s heart being affected by the Holy Spirit we know that it isn’t going to look the same as it will for his brother who is not autistic.  Is this one of those moments of blind trust in God for us where we have to accept that there may be no external emotional evidence of God working in Patch’s life?

Any help would be so appreciated even if it is us that need redirecting?

So, under the flag that we fly of God’s sovereignty over all things, how would you respond to Sue?  Are there resources you could recommend?

Here’s my attempt.  And to steal from Mark Twain, “I’m sorry this letter is so long, but I did not have time to make it shorter.”

I am struck again by how different our lives are, even when we sometimes share a characteristic like autism in our children.  My son is so significantly impacted by his combination of things, I simply don’t even think about his response or lack of response to things.

So, I don’t have an answer to the question of ‘how.’  But I know that God is faithful, always, to supply every need (Philippians 4:19).  He has called you to parent in the strength he provides, no matter how your boy responds.  I know that for all four of my children, only God can make them alive to him; I cannot do that work for them.  Paul is exactly like my other three – entirely dependent on God for his future, though he doesn’t think at all about his future.

In one sense, then, it is a ‘blind trust’ that God will provide for me and for you as parents of these very different boys.  But on the other hand, God has provided so much evidence of his power and mercy that even though I don’t know the specifics of his plan for me and my boy, I know he has one.

And his word is very helpful to me:

1)  God is sovereign over all his creation, and always has been.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. John 1:1-3

This familiar passage is speaking of Jesus.  I love that we are given this specific picture of a Jesus who knew and knows everything.  With this perfect knowledge, Jesus would take the wrath that I deserve – amazing!  He created my Paul and your Patch just as he intended, and both boys exist to bring him glory.

2)  God revealed his sovereignty over his creation of our children.

My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them. Psalm 139:15-16

I take comfort that God wanted us to know he wasn’t just letting natural processes work themselves out as our children were being ‘knit together’ (Psalm 139:13); he is actively guiding everything toward the days that he has already authored.

3)  God specifically staked his claim of authority over children he created with disabilities.

Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Exodus 4:11

Here God claims authority, without embarrassment or feeling like he’s opening himself up to judgment, over making some to be different because of disability.  This goes well beyond God having foreknowledge and letting things happen; this is a demonstration of intentionality, power and authority.

4)  God will judge his creation according to what can be known.

For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. Romans 1:19-20

As Bethlehem has affirmed in its Elder Affirmation of Faith:

Therefore we do not believe that there is salvation through any other means than through receiving the gospel by the power of the Holy Spirit, except that infants and severely retarded persons with minds physically incapable of comprehending the gospel may be saved.

Though the specific statement here is on severe mental retardation, I believe it is possible there are other disabling conditions that could prevent the comprehension of the gospel.  I offer that very hesitantly – I do not want the word ‘comprehending’ to lose all meaning.

Autism is a very strange thing.  But God knows exactly what Patch can comprehend, and created him that way for his glory.  We can be confident God will judge rightly those he has created.

5)  A disabling condition is no hindrance to God.

And he answered them, “Go and tell John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, the poor have good news preached to them. Luke 7:22

Patch may be physically unable to comprehend the gospel or demonstrate any sort of affection for the gospel.  And God knows how to make Patch alive to him.

6)  God always judges rightly.

What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God’s part? By no means! For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy. Romans 9:14-16

7)  God always works all things for our good, if we are in Christ.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. Romans 8:28-30

It may be, Sue, that you will live your entire life without any evidence of Patch comprehending God.  But God has promised to help you, and he has called you to himself when you did not deserve it. He knew Patch’s days before anything was created and he loves your Patch and my Paul infinitely more than we do.

Someday, three of my four children will be launched into adulthood, Lord willing.  My oldest will live with me as long as I am able to care for him – I hope that God gives me decades more with him.  And someday we will, like the Apostle Paul, note these decades of care of our children with disabilities were very short when compared to eternity:

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

I am also grateful that Paul wrote “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10).  The sorrow is real.  The rejoicing is real.  And God is very  good.

I pray something in here is helpful.  And I hope others respond as well.

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As I lingered over some of the pictures in Just the Way I Am yesterday morning, the thought struck me:  will people going through hard times look at these pictures and not see their family situation?  The pictures of the children with disabilities (and their siblings or parents) are beautiful.

Frequently our lives are not like that.  My child has times when he does not carry ANY external manifestation of beauty.

That thought was quickly followed by this one:  of course the pictures are beautiful, because the children are beautiful!

Josh Hackney, the photographer for this book, overcame the Western cultural expectation that to look at or photograph disability is to look at and capture something strange or hideous or sad.  Josh worked hard to capture the children as God sees and created them – as God’s very own, for his glory.

Thus, Josh captured beauty!

Paul sometimes has bad days, and sometimes that results in my wanting to weep and hide over how hard everything seems to be.  And that doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with Paul or the situation. On those days, I have taken my eyes off  Jesus.

The fact is that God will supply all my needs (Phil. 4:19) in those moments, for me and for my boy and my other two boys and their sister and my wife and everyone else in Paul’s life.

How?  “According to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19).  That kind of wealth is both infinite and indescribable!  Easily God can supply every need, no matter what it is.

So, I am grateful this book is full of beautiful pictures of extraordinary children, even if some people, at first, will struggle that these are not their experiences with the children with disabilities they know.

Because together with the words from the Bible that accompanies every picture and the work of Holy Spirit, God can turn their mourning into joy, like he has done so frequently for me:

For the Lord has ransomed Jacob
and has redeemed him from hands too strong for him.

Then shall the young women rejoice in the dance,
and the young men and the old shall be merry.
I will turn their mourning into joy;
I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow.

Jeremiah 31:11,13

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I loved this reminder from Josh Harris, author of Dug Down Deep:

“Theology matters because if we get it wrong, then our whole life will be wrong.”

The more I see people advocating for various forms of eugenics or aborting children with disabilities, or making God small in light of hard things like disease, or earthquakes or poverty, the more I see it isn’t a problem of information or education.

But if we know who God is, what he’s like, and how he loves, our whole perspective changes.  And not just head knowledge, but a heart-driven desire to know this God, the way a man wants to know the wife he passionately loves.

I know that has changed how I think about God and disability.  And it was God who did it!

I am grateful God replaced my foolish, small, sin-filled, man-centered concept of who he is (one in which I not only felt I had the right but the responsibility to question his wisdom, care of, and love for me and my boy) with actual statements about who he is from his own word, like this from Psalm 89:1-8:

I will sing of the steadfast love of the Lord, forever;
with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations.
For I said, “Steadfast love will be built up forever;
in the heavens you will establish your faithfulness.”
You have said, “I have made a covenant with my chosen one;
I have sworn to David my servant:
‘I will establish your offspring forever,
and build your throne for all generations.’” Selah

Let the heavens praise your wonders, O Lord,
your faithfulness in the assembly of the holy ones!
For who in the skies can be compared to the Lord?
Who among the heavenly beings is like the Lord,
a God greatly to be feared in the council of the holy ones,
and awesome above all who are around him?
O Lord God of hosts,
who is mighty as you are, O Lord,
with your faithfulness all around you?

And to those who still wonder if theology matters, I invite you to watch this short video from Josh Harris:

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Abortion is a horrible thing.  Framing it in research or clinical language cannot hide that fact.

Judith L. M. McCoyd, PhD, LCSW, in her article, “Discrepant Feeling Rules and Unscripted Emotion Work: Women Coping With Termination for Fetal Anomaly,” in the American Journal of Orthopsychiatry makes many horrifying statements, most of which I think are made unintentionally.  For example, on the decision to abort a child with a disability:

Women’s decisions were often framed by feeling rules such as “I feel like I should be a saint and love and accept this potential baby,” but this came into conflict with awareness that they had to consider the implications of disability and its impact on every member of the family—especially living children. (p. 448)

This one paragraph highlights several things that are wrong with our cultural understanding of human life:

1. These ‘feeling rules’ are framed by the culture, not by anything solid or transcendent.  We have relegated something as important as the killing of babies with disabilities to the whims of a childish, self-absorbed culture.
2. The title of the article indicates the goal is coping with abortion better.  This paragraph, like the entire article, makes no moral distinction between letting a child live or killing the child through abortion.  We should be clearly advocating for better decisions – like letting the child live.
3. There is no such thing as a potential baby; if that woman is pregnant, there is a baby.  Some babies will come, and even die from, their disabilities.  That should not place them in a different category of human life.  Aborting a ‘potential’ life is still aborting a living human.
4. The conflict listed here is entirely culturally created and could just as easily be reconstituted as normal and positive.  My family and many others view our disabled member as uniquely gifted by God to make us more aware and compassionate of others and more dependent on God.  In other words, the child with the disability has had and continues to have a positive impact on others.
5. The unborn baby is just as living as the already born ‘living children.’

There were other statements that were equally chilling:

The intersection of disability with decision making due to fetal anomaly reveals another place where societal norms differ and the feeling rules are discrepant. The women in this study all had desired pregnancies that they would not have ended had an anomaly not been diagnosed. Women’s ambivalence about the justification of ending a pregnancy intersects with the ambivalence about the nature and quality of life with a disability as lived in the United States. (p. 447)

So, rather than attack the ambivalence about the “nature and quality of life with a disability,” we simply remove the person with the disability.  That is not ambivalence, that is a final, irreversible act of violence done by the powerful against the powerless.  In any other context except this one, we call that wrong.

No, let us attack those societal norms and bring them down!  When women and men create a child, let them get fully informed responses when the child is coming with a disability, and not just from medical professionals.  Let them hear from other parents with similarly-disabled children, and siblings, and grandparents and friends and church members and pastors.  Let that family be showered with people who care about them and the child who is yet to be born.

We will tell them the truth about how hard it will be and how much they will all suffer.  And we will tell them the truth about the sovereignty of God in all things, his sustaining power and overwhelming love.  We will tell them about the mistakes we have made, and how God has worked even through our mistakes to make his name glorious in how he helps us.

Lord willing, there will be fewer women ‘coping’ with the effects of abortion and more women triumphing as God-centered mothers, parenting in the strength that God supplies.  And the fathers who were largely absent from this journal article will take their rightful place as guardians and guides of their children – all of them.

Then we will not be ruled by our feelings which change quickly, but by the One who created and sustains us, including our children with disabilities.  And together we will declare with the Psalmist:

Praise the Lord, all nations!
Extol him, all peoples!
For great is his steadfast love toward us,
and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.
Praise the Lord!

Psalm 117

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More than one person made the reference, ‘out of the mouths of infants and nursing babies you have prepared praise,’ to me after seeing Paul sing yesterday.  Usually people are referencing Matthew 21:14-16, where Jesus himself uttered those words:

And the blind and the lame came to him in the temple, and he healed them.  But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying out in the temple, “Hosanna to the Son of David!” they were indignant, and they said to him, “Do you hear what these are saying?” And Jesus said to them, “Yes; have you never read,

“‘Out of the mouth of infants and nursing babies you have prepared praise’?”