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Are ‘they’ dumb or are ‘we’ arrogant?

Posted in commentary, News on August 1, 2011| 1 Comment »

Did you see these headlines?

Study: Dumb People Use Internet Explorer  (PC Magazine)

Are Internet Explorer Users Dumb? (CNN)

Those conclusions came from a study done by AptiQuant.

AptiQuant did a self-selected, non-scientific study of 100,000 people who took a version of an IQ test online.  There are all kinds of problems with their methodologies.  They ‘discovered’ that people who use Internet Explorer and who participated in their survey scored lower on their test than people who use other browsers.  Internet Explorer users scored slightly over 80 (an IQ of 100 is considered ‘average’). Those who use the Opera browser scored the highest at slightly over 120.

Hence, they concluded that Internet Explorer users are ‘dumb.’  They used that word in their own press release.

And of course nobody wants to be dumb!  Dumb = less than another, unworthy, outside of desired privilege.  Implied in the articles and headlines: unless you behave as we do, you are not worthy of us.

Oh, and the study also suggests that if you use Internet Explorer you are also resistant to change.  Two strikes!  One more and you are definitely out.

Consider how this study could have been presented if people of all intellectual capacities were actually considered as having equal standing in this culture.  Might some of the headlines have reflected that in our desire to improve certain technologies, we have left some of our friends and neighbors behind, even unintentionally, and this is a wake-up call to offer a helping hand?  Or that we have made some of our vulnerable friends even more vulnerable (earlier versions of Internet Explorer have been exploited by evil people to do evil things, like steal people’s identity) and we need to offer appropriate protections to those who might be exploited?

I didn’t see any headlines or comments like that.

There were a few commentaries that poked at the cultural assumptions, like this from Chris Matyszczyk of CNET:

 IQ is a very dangerous construct, created largely to make those who have a certain type of intelligence feel that theirs is the only type of intelligence worth having.

But reflections like that were rare.

God praises those who behave wisely, and he obviously has created people to live with different kinds of intellectual abilities in this present age.  But the cornerstone of wisdom does not appear to be raw intelligence:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
all those who practice it have a good understanding.
His praise endures forever!  Psalm 111:10

God knows our own hearts can be drawn toward the arrogant:

For I was envious of the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.  Psalm 73:3

But he also warns us what will happen to them (or us):

Truly you set them in slippery places;
you make them fall to ruin.
How they are destroyed in a moment,
swept away utterly by terrors! Psalm 73:18-19

Claiming to be wise, they became fools. . . Romans 1:22

The cultural air that we breathe doesn’t take any of that into consideration.  And because church-going people read those same headlines and breathe that same air, they will be tempted to put our Christian brothers and sisters with cognitive disabilities into that ‘less-than’ column.

Thankfully, the same God who grants faith (frequently to those who have IQs less than 80!) also has very high regard for his children.  He will help us see these kinds of evidences of what the culture really think about our brothers and sisters with cognitive disabilities.  And he will help his church stand against it, even if at times that same church doesn’t seem to be paying attention.

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I called myself an advocate. But I was really an assassin.

Posted in commentary on July 30, 2011| 6 Comments »

Very shortly after my son was born and diagnosed with the first of his multiple disabilities I learned I would need to be an ‘advocate’ for him.  To summarize, that meant I needed to learn how to deal with very complicated medical, educational, social work and legal systems if I hoped to get him services that might help him.

Being an advocate means being ready for conflict, and a commitment to winning.  Think lawyers, without the credentials (usually) but with an unparalleled passion to protect their loved ones.

Once I attended an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) meeting that included eight professionals in various educational areas and me talking about my oldest son.  Seven of them did as they were legally obligated and sent me their assessments and recommendations ahead of the meeting.  One did not, and she also did not come to the meeting on time.  So, in addition to breaking the law, I was irritated.

The meeting was going really well – no issues, and the recommendations were appropriate.  Then the last professional showed up, near the completion of the meeting, and dropped the bomb of a whole new diagnosis.

Two of the other professionals in the room told me later that the room became physically colder as they watched me consider her words.

Then the ‘go’ switch went on in my head.  She didn’t stand a chance as I went over school processes and legal requirements and her methodology of assessment and lack of insight into current research.

The principal made a half-hearted attempt to protect her employee but quit when I turned my attention on the principal – this wasn’t a fight she knew she could win.  And then each of the other six professionals in the room was grilled on their assessment of their colleague’s diagnosis of my son.

At heart that wasn’t advocacy.  I wasn’t really looking for answers and I knew how to keep the pressure on that one person under the guise of wanting to find the best educational outcome for my son.

In other words, I was a trained and experienced character assassin using the tools of my trade.

Some of you are thinking, ‘I’ve experienced that sort of bad behavior from professionals; she deserved it.”  But I’m not proud of that moment as I think about it today:

  • She was doing her job in providing her assessment; I made it personal and looked for ways to personally humiliate her.
  • I didn’t want to believe her evidence, but three years later she proved to be correct.
  • Her assessment methodologies were flawed, and her delivery wasn’t appropriate, but my response didn’t give her an opportunity to learn anything useful.  I was just another angry, confused father rather than someone who could share some valuable insights.
  • I did not make Jesus look like greatest treasure.

I am not saying as parents we should just roll over and let school or medical professionals do anything they want with regards to our children.  The Apostle Paul would use the laws of the day when it was appropriate, like after he had been publicly beaten and jailed and then told they could leave:

But Paul said to them, “They have beaten us publicly, uncondemned, men who are Roman citizens, and have thrown us into prison; and do they now throw us out secretly? No! Let them come themselves and take us out.”  Acts 16:37

We can use the protections granted us.  But even more than that, I want educators and government officials and medical professionals to run into a mountain of unmovable conviction about the God-granted worth and dignity and value of our loved ones with disabilities.

It is that very conviction that allows us to engage with grace and reasonableness.  God is our ultimate advocate, but unlike me he always brings perfect measures of grace and wrath, with perfect regard for our family members as well as those who are (or supposed to be) serving them, with perfect knowledge about what will ultimately bring him the greatest glory.

That allows us to say things like, “I disagree” and keep it on the subject at hand rather than making it personal by focusing on the skill, experience, competency or feelings of another.  If that person lacks skill or competency to get what we need, we keep pressing on, without rancor or anger, seeking the best outcome.

That is much easier said than done, in my experience.  I can’t prove it, but I think some people have baited me, trying to goad an emotional, angry response out of me so that they could put the ‘unreasonable, irrational’ father tag on me.

Today I try to remember that Jesus’ blood can cover the sins of that person across the table from me, or on the other end of the telephone, or who just sent the email or letter – they could be brothers or sisters in Christ!  If not today, then maybe someday in the future, and maybe God will use our persistent yet hopeful engagement on behalf of our children to reveal himself in all his glory.

Persevering is generally most of the battle anyway, even with insurance companies!  (Though I haven’t won all of those battles, either – and God is still good.)

People in positions of authority have lied to me about what can and cannot be provided to my son.  Some of them have also treated their subordinates very badly, not equipping them (and lying about it) to do the job they are being paid to do for my son. Those people should be afraid as we advocate for our children (just like in Acts 16:35-40).

Even more so, they should fear the God who made and has deep regard for our children with disabilities:

You shall not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block before the blind, but you shall fear your God: I am the Lord. Leviticus 19:14

Getting the right services and treatments – ones that could make a real difference – isn’t a hypothetical issue in our family, or yours.

But God is greater, and trusting him lets us behave in ways that make him look glorious, encourages us to persevere when all seems hopeless, helps us serve our families better, and doesn’t let the roots of pride or bitterness – which could destroy us – take hold in the midst of our complicated lives.

Yes, even when it appears we are losing and our own emotions are crying out for vengeance.  The Lord of the universe will judge rightly on our behalf:

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.  Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:17-21

For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. Hebrews 10:30-31

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“Personally I find the doctrine of the sovereignty of God to be the most comforting. . .”

Posted in commentary, Scripture on July 28, 2011| 2 Comments »

Amazing testimony.

The video and audio are a little rough, but it is worth the 7 minutes.

You can also see it by clicking here.

Thank you to Jan Lacher for sending it to me.

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Gendercide and disability

Posted in commentary, News on July 25, 2011| 1 Comment »

Many of the comments and opinion articles on the issue of abortion based on the sex of a child are quick to point to misogyny in various Asian cultures as the reason behind what Pastor John wrote about on Saturday.

The sneer that we know better and are better than those cultures is barely veiled.

So what do we do when we find it in our own country and culture?  The Fertility Institutes of Los Angeles, New York and Mexico will “virtually guarantee your next child will be the sex of your choice.”

And they also routinely screen for many different types of genetic abnormalities.  It is self-evident that those eight cell embryos that fail to pass these two screenings – right sex, right genetic makeup – won’t be implanted in his or her mother.

Our unborn children with disabilities have no chance in any culture when even the sex of a child is perceived as a problem.

Except for this:  God calling his people and his church to stand when every other protection for those babies and their families is crumbling.

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.  Ephesians 6:13

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I am sad. But only for a vapors breath.

Posted in commentary, Quotes, Scripture on July 4, 2011| 8 Comments »

When I imagined myself a father, a big thing I imagined was helping him to learn how to drive.

The day I turned 15 I started looking forward to drivers education class.  And the day I turned 16 my mother took me to the drivers examination office, where I earned that precious right to drive all by myself.

That was a big deal for me as a young man, and I enjoyed the thought of helping my future son take this giant step toward independence.

Today my boy turns 16.  I’ve known for 16 years that my blind boy wouldn’t be able to drive.  He isn’t even big enough to reach the pedels.  And if he could see and was big enough, his cognitive disabilities and autism and strange seizure-like disorder would prevent him from driving.

It might seem silly given everything else, but I’m sad about not having that rite of passage with my oldest son.

Yet, God has kindly made me ready for this day:

  • More veteran parents than I am have warned that the seasons of sadness will still come.  Sometimes they come at unexpected times.  Sometimes we can prepare.  I knew this would be one of those times I should prepare.
  • My Jesus understands, because he experienced sorrow: Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me” (Matthew 26:38).
  • My Jesus loves me, covers my sins and helps me turn from sin, including sinful temptations to doubt his goodness in my suffering: To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood (Revelation 1:5).
  • This sorrow has a greater, joyful purpose ahead: For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison (2 Corinthians 4:17).
  • God knows my days and my son’s days: In your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them (Psalm 139:16).
  • God has good plans for my son and myself: And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).
  • My son has been the means by which God has revealed himself as of greater worth than anything, including raising a ‘normal’ boy.

I still feel that sorrow about my son’s disabilities today; I expect that tears will come.  But just writing the above list has reminded me that ‘no good thing does he withhold’ (Psalm 84:11).  God is awesome in his love and his power and his mercy!

As Pastor John wrote several years ago:

So let us embrace whatever sorrow God appoints for us. Let us not be ashamed of tears. Let the promise that joy comes with the morning (Psalm 30:5) sustain and shape our grief with the power and goodness of God.

I believe that promise!  I have experienced little tastes of that promise already.

Someday, both Paul and I will experience a different rite of passage, and it is impossible to say who will lead whom.  Either Jesus will return, or we will go to him.

And we will experience something entirely new!

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.”  Revelation 21:4-5

And that is why I can and will celebrate my son’s birth today, ‘as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing’ (2 Corinthians 6:10).

Happy birthday, son!

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Let us tell our stories and ask God to change things.

Posted in commentary, News, Scripture on June 25, 2011| 1 Comment »

Dr. Brian Skotko, a Down syndrome specialist at Children’s Hospital Boston, cites a study in the article, New earlier blood test for Down syndrome pregnancies may bring women comfort — or conflict, that “the number of Down syndrome births in the nation dropped 11 percent between 1989 and 2006, a time when it would otherwise be expected to rise 42 percent.”

That statistic has been bothering me all week, so I tried to do the math.  Since I don’t know what the actual numbers are, I tried to figure out the ratio.  If, for example, in 1989 we had 100 Down syndrome births, then we expected that in 2006 we would have 142 Down syndrome births (42% increase).  Instead, we had 89 Down syndrome births (11% decrease).

89(actual)/142 (predicted) = 62.7%

Only 62.7% of the children with Down syndrome that we anticipated would be born in 2006 were actually born.

I looked up some numbers on the Jewish population worldwide before and after the Holocaust:

1939:  17 million

1945: 11 million

The ratio of 11 million (actual living)/17 million (expected but for the Holocaust): 64.7%

Of course, the ratio in Europe was even worse – only about 1/3 of Jews living in Europe survived the Holocaust.

If the systematic identification and destruction of 2/3rds of Jewish people in Europe was called genocide, what do we call an abortion rate of more than 90% of children with Down syndrome for those women who currently are tested?  How much lower will the ratio of Down syndrome births go as new, more accurate and less expensive tests for Down syndrome become available?

I want to be clear – I do not believe that tests are the problem.  Though knowledge of a disability in an unborn child is certainly a hard thing, it is not a bad thing.

But we know our culture has a bias against those who are different, and particularly against those who have developmental disabilities.  We also know, and Dr. Skotko referenced it in the article above, that doctors are not trained in the full reality of disability and usually bring in their own biases.  Abortion is an assumed best option for many, many health professionals at a very vulnerable time in a mother’s and a father’s life.

So, let us tell and re-tell our stories of God’s goodness and provision in our lives.  Whether a person living with a disability or the parent of a child with a disability, we have a particular kind of testimony of God’s faithfulness and goodness.

And then let us pray that God will use our stories to change everyone – presidents and Supreme Court justices and members of Congress and doctors and pastors and genetic counselors and family members and mothers and fathers and everyone else.  We know God can do it!

The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will.  Proverbs 21:1

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Attempting to honor in helpful ways

Posted in commentary, Helpful things on June 12, 2011| 9 Comments »

As most of you know or could guess, The Works of God is named primarily because that phrase shows up in John 9, the accounting of Jesus healing the man born blind.

But it also shows up in other places, like Psalm 78:

He established a testimony in Jacob
and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers
to teach to their children,
that the next generation might know them,
the children yet unborn,
and arise and tell them to their children,
so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the works of God. . .  Psalm 78:5-7a

How do fathers learn how to teach their children to do that?  I’ve learned a great deal from other men.

Several weeks ago I had the thought that on Father’s Day it would be nice to honor some of the men who help me do what has been commanded that I do as a father.  Then I abandoned it because of all the problems it seemed to create:

  • How could I possibly limit it to a few men?
  • How would it make people feel who don’t have ANY positive male influences in their lives?
  • Of what use would that list be to anyone?
  • What if I’m really engaging in hero worship rather than Godly respect?
Then I read Kevin DeYoung’s helpful post on Friday, 7 Theses on “Celebrity Pastors” in which he wrote:
We must always remember—and not just give lip service to the fact—that God is the one who apportions gifts to teachers, pastors, and authors. The churches get edified. God gets the glory.

God gets the glory!  Ok, that seems like a good thing to talk about.

Justin Taylor (who had pointed me to Kevin’s post) also had a link to a Taste and See Article Pastor John wrote, Hero Worship and Holy Emulation in which he closes with this (emphasis mine):
It is right and risky to aim at being worthy of emulation. It is more foundationally right to aim at being helpful. It is essential in both that we be amazed that we are forgiven through Christ, and that we serve rather than seek to be served.

And there it was – I can freely honor by showing how these men have been helpful, and maybe others can learn from their examples.

Over the next seven days, Lord willing, I hope to raise up examples of men who are or have been helpful to me.  I have a personal relationship with all of them; no dead authors in this group although two have passed on from this life.  And I am very fond of all of them!  But I’ll try to keep those affections as secondary to explaining how they have helped.

In doing so, I hope you will be encouraged that God does things like give the gift of people who help us love him more.  And I also hope that you will take the time to honor and thank men in your lives who have helped you.

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Tell of his salvation from day to day

Posted in commentary, Sermons on June 10, 2011| 1 Comment »

I’ve been very grateful in his sermons on John 9 that Pastor John has pointed out that it can be years before we see God’s purposeful hand in disability, even as Christians.  I have found that personally helpful and I have heard from others who agree.

Isn’t it amazing that each kind of story about God’s call on people’s lives has its own way of making much of God!

  • My heart sings when a brand-new dad is holding on to the promises of God and trusting that God is still for him.
  • I rejoice at stories similar to mine – a time of intense anger and bitterness toward God, and God turning hearts around.
  • I marvel at the perseverance of saints, sometimes praying for decades for family members or friends before God moves to make spiritually blind eyes to see and dead hearts to beat.

I love truly heroic stories of God-centered people who, from the beginning to the end of their lives, are faithful to God and persevere in the most difficult of circumstances.  God is glorified in those lives!

But that isn’t my story, obviously – and God is still glorified!

I’m glad God gets glory that way.  There is definitely no mistaking that God is the primary and decisive actor!  That he alone is good – and strong.  That he gives the gift of being clothed in the righteousness of Jesus Christ through absolutely no merit on the part of the recipient – in fact, the receiver is constantly pushing him away until God moves to make blind eyes see.

Please, tell your story to somebody today.

Oh sing to the Lord a new song;
sing to the Lord, all the earth!
Sing to the Lord, bless his name;
tell of his salvation from day to day.
Declare his glory among the nations,
his marvelous works among all the peoples!
Psalm 96:1-3

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Thank you to our volunteers!

Posted in commentary, Prayer Requests on June 5, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Pastor John rightfully mentioned Brenda Fischer, the Disability Ministry Coordinator at Bethlehem, during his sermon on John 9:1-4.  She is a tremendous gift to Bethlehem and to dozens of families like ours!

And she is the first to say that the only reason it happens is because God gives her strength and God gives her volunteers.

Today marks the end of Sunday School for the year, and it seems appropriate to make a special thank you to all the volunteers who have served families like mine this past year.

In her most recent article in Bethlehem’s Family Discipleship newsletter, Forgetting the Label to the Glory of God, Brenda notes that we had 46 one-on-one aides this past year!  That is an extraordinary provision from God!  I only know a few of those volunteers, but the ones I have met all say the same thing:  I’m the one experiencing the blessing.

No, we still aren’t able to serve everyone; the need for more volunteers continues and I expect will increase.  But I can remember when we didn’t have ANY volunteers.

So, let us raise a prayer of thanksgiving for what God is already doing here and in many churches who are rising in their understanding of the God-granted dignity and value of people with disabilities.  And let us not stop asking for even more – more families, more people with disabilities, more volunteers, more connections, more wisdom, more capacities.  And most of all, more of God and the joy that comes from treasuring him above all things!

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“He is a miracle waiting to happen” – John MacArthur

Posted in commentary, Scripture, Sermons on June 4, 2011| Leave a Comment »

I like John MacArthur a great deal and have learned much from him.  But I was not really reading for insight and new understanding as I recently went over his first sermon on John 9:1-12.  I was getting rather grumpy about the whole thing as I found more things with which to disagree – poor word choice here, bad example there.

God kindly let a few paragraphs of Pastor MacArthur’s sermon just blow me away and show me what was going on in my own heart!  Emphases in bold are mine:

Sovereign grace dominates this whole miracle. It isn’t this man running to Jesus saying, “Oh! Oh! Oh! Heal me, heal me!” No, Jesus saw him, and see that’s the way sovereign grace is, isn’t it? It’s Christ seeking us. We could not see Him except He saw us. We are blind, we’re absolutely blind. We have no capacity to see God. We have no capacity to see Jesus Christ. We are incapacitated, we are stone blind, spiritually speaking. We can’t see. . .

He’s not blind because of sin, this man is a prepared vessel, he is a miracle waiting to happen. Kind of exciting, isn’t it? He was born blind for one reason, so God’s glory could be seen in this healing by Jesus Christ. That’s why He was born blind…for the glory of God…sometimes is why suffering comes. . .

Even affliction can be for the glory of God. All these things can happen for the glory of God and this was a prepared vessel, a miracle waiting to happen. This was a blind beggar sitting at a gate waiting for the time planned in eternity past that Jesus would pass by and manifest His glory by touching his eyes so he could see. Fantastic truth. . .

And you know what happens when Christ turns on the lights in your soul? All of a sudden truth becomes recognizable, doesn’t it? You know the truth. All of a sudden love is seen, peace is beheld, glory is fully expressed. God becomes visible in the sense of focus. Christ becomes real. The eye of faith sees and understands and the light dawns. And to this blind beggar He gave both, physical sight and spiritual sight.

Why did He do it? What was the purpose? The purpose of it was for the glory of God. 

John MacArthur, Jesus Opens Blind Eyes, December 13, 1970.

I still would have preferred he handled some things differently – but he certainly hit the central theme in a helpful way!  I’m grateful God didn’t let me go through this entire sermon with a grumbling spirit, but let truth shine very brightly to drive my self-righteous, darkness-enjoying, man-centered sin away.

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