The Works of God

I was looking for the article by Dorothy Wertz I referenced yesterday, and found this quote from Dr. Adrienne Asch in the article, “Prenatal Diagnosis and Selective Abortion: A Challenge to Practice and Policy” from the November 1999 edition of American Journal of Public Health:

If professionals and parents believed that children with disabilities could indeed provide their parents many of the same satisfactions as any other child in terms of stimulation, love, companionship, pride, and pleasure in influencing the growth and development of another, they might reexamine their belief that in psychological, material, and social terms, the burdens of raising disabled children outweigh the benefits.

A vast array of literature, both parental narrative and social science quantitative and qualitative research, powerfully testifies to the rewards-typical and atypical-of raising children with many of the conditions for which prenatal testing is considered de rigeur and abortion is expected (Down syndrome, hemophilia, cystic fibrosis, to name only some). Yet bioethics, public health, and genetics remain woefully-scandalously–oblivious, ignorant, or dismissive of any information that challenges the conviction that disability dooms families.

In other words, though we can frequently provide evidence to the benefits of raising our children with disabilities, the belief system of people who are supposed to be serving us leads them to dismiss that evidence.  The only evidence they will consider are the burdens.  Thus, the only right answer for them is to abort our babies with disabilities.

I am grateful when researchers like Dr. Asch point out that it isn’t just the ‘reality’ of burdens that leads to higher rates of abortion.  We are also fighting an evil belief system that automatically assigns lower value to a baby with certain genetic characteristics.  Sort of like we used to do with children born with dark skin in this country.

But given the statistics on abortion of African-American children, maybe I am too quick to say ‘used to.’

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I found the chapter written by Dr. Dorothy Wertz, “How Parents of Affected Children View Selective Abortion,” from the book, Issues in Reproductive Technology: An Anthology, edited by Helen Holmes.

I now wished I hadn’t.  I am horrified at what she found in her research.

Here is one of Dr. Wertz’s conclusions:

Since individuals rather than governments are making these decisions (selective abortion of children with disabilities), they are not considered eugenic.  Yet, individuals can practice eugenics, perhaps more effectively than governments.  Informal social pressure is a very effective measure of coercion.  Once tests are offered, to reject them is a rejection of modern faith in science and also a rejection of our belief that we should do everything possible for the health of the future child.  To bear, knowingly, a less than perfect child affronts the mores of many social circles.  The sharp reduction in incidents of certain birth defects, such as Tay-Sachs in the United States and spina bifida in Britain, suggests that families are making what amount to eugenic decisions (all bold emphases mine).

There is good news in this.  If individuals are behaving as though there is a sanctioned eugenics movement in the United States, then individuals can be encouraged to make different decisions.

This is where the church and those of us with children with disabilities can engage in loving ways to turn the tide away from eugenics, one couple and one child at a time.

Parents, let us live like our children with disabilities matter and that we trust God to supply all our needs.  There is no reason to minimize our hardships – they are real, and people assume them anyway.  But there is more – God’s promises are real and we have been given a special opportunity to make much of him and testify to his promises through how we live our lives.

People simply do not talk about abortion as an option around me or my son, and I talk all the time about how glad I am to have this boy.  There’s two blows against aborting children with disabilities right there.

For churches, many had pro-life or sanctity of life Sunday services this past January.  Take that extra step – find ways to serve and welcome that family with a disabled family member.  Let all your people know you care about every person who crosses your doors, and that you WANT every one who crosses your doors, as an overflow of your affections for God who has done everything for you.

Will it be hard?  No.  It is impossible.  At Bethlehem we struggle most of the time – some disabilities are really, really hard, we frequently don’t know if we are doing the right things in serving a child or family, we make mistakes that discourage people, we never seem to have enough volunteers, and just when things seem to stabilize, another issue comes up that’s even more complicated than the last.

That is why we anchor everything in prayerful dependence, because only through God’s help will anything happen.

Think – pastor, or elder, or small group leader, or Sunday school teacher, or volunteer, or friend – how will you feel someday if a dad or mom comes up to YOU and says, “because of what I saw in what you did, we chose to have our baby with (terribly difficult disabling condition).”   And what sort of reward will there be from the Father for faithfully serving the most vulnerable of his human creation?

I don’t know.  But I want to find out.

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If you have not yet read Dr. Mohler’s blog from yesterday, The Scandal of Gendercide – War on Baby Girls, I recommend it.

What is amazing is that he is commenting on an article, War on Baby Girls: Gendercide, in The Economist, a secular publication that believes “in free trade and free markets. . .“

Here is some of what The Economist reported:

It is no exaggeration to call this gendercide. Women are missing in their millions—aborted, killed, neglected to death. In 1990 an Indian economist, Amartya Sen, put the number at 100m (one hundred million); the toll is higher now. The crumb of comfort is that countries can mitigate the hurt, and that one, South Korea, has shown the worst can be avoided. Others need to learn from it if they are to stop the carnage.

Why is this happening?

In fact the destruction of baby girls is a product of three forces: the ancient preference for sons; a modern desire for smaller families; and ultrasound scanning and other technologies that identify the sex of a fetus.

Why write about it on this blog?  Because those three forces, only slightly altered, could just as easily have been written about the destruction of children with disabilities.  Is there any material difference between the three forces described above and these three that result in amazing rates of abortion of disabled babies in our country?

1. The ancient preference for a ‘normal’ child
2. A modern desire for family members that don’t inconvenience us too much, or who experience too much suffering
3. Ultrasound scanning and other technologies that identify a disability in the fetus.

When we become untethered from the Bible, which describes the eternal, foundational, unchanging character and attributes of God and his view of his creation, human beings lose their God-granted value and dignity.  Babies become expendable, whether we are talking about girls in China or children with disabilities in America.

The Economist argues that girls in these countries can be saved through economic and educational interventions.  I didn’t find a similar argument being made for children with disabilities.

I would recommend a different solution for both:  Exodus 20:13 “You shall not murder.”

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Is Just the Way I Am simply the product of a family, particularly one young woman, who has made ‘lemonade out of lemons’ by persevering through hardship and now has a good story to tell?  Or is there something much more profound, God-centered and God glorifying happening?

David Michael is the Pastor for Parenting and Family Discipleship at Bethlehem, and has been an advocate for the disability ministry at Bethlehem from before its beginnings.  Here is what he has to say about God’s work in Krista Horning’s life:

Nearly a decade has passed since I first met Krista and her family. Her teen years proved to be fruitful and life-shaping. For Krista, Apert syndrome was not a curse to be endured; it was an asset to be invested.Her Maker had a plan for her life and that plan was unfolding before our eyes. Her heart had been uniquely shaped in a way that gave her special understanding, special love, and special influence with other disabled children. She volunteered her time to bless these children and the organizations that serve them.

Our church has many members, and Krista is one of them. There are varieties of gifts and varieties of service. Krista has been given her portion and she has not wasted it.

From Just the Way I Am: God’s Good Design in Disability, p. 54.

The entire Horning family is very special to me.  Krista served my own son for several years before they started attending the South Campus.

But this book is not primarily about Krista – it is rightly focused on God and his good, sovereign design as evidenced in Krista’s life and the lives of all the children who are pictured.

What God is doing through young people like Krista Horning is exciting and life-giving!  And I can hardly wait for more of you to see this book to better understand who our God is – great and mighty in all his ways, kind in all he does, and sovereign over all his creation.

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I love to find other men who write with a passion for God as they parent their disabled children.  One such dad is Greg Lucas who writes the blog Wrestling with an Angel.

Here’s an excerpt from his recent post, “Sovereign Solution to a Cold Case Crime.“

My son is not a pitiful tragedy blamed on negligence or ignorance. He is a mysterious element of a divine plan. A predestined purpose of God’s will to the praise of His glorious grace. A display of the immeasurable greatness of God’s power according to the working of His great might.

Amen, Greg.  Thanks for writing, for loving your son, and for making much of Jesus.

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Saturday evening reminded me that I have something very precious at Bethlehem, and I want more people to have it as well.  One of the many blessings is that I am not remotely tempted to stay away from church when things don’t go well because of Paul’s disabilities.

I decided our family should attend the North Campus on Saturday evening as Dianne was out of town for a wedding.  The North Campus is accessible, parking is easier, we know lots of people, and Paul has even been known to make it through an entire service there.  I like it when Paul can be with the family during the regular worship service, and summer is a good time to see how things go.

Such was not the case on Saturday.  Paul was in full voice early.  I think we made it through three minutes in the sanctuary before I knew he would be vocalizing happily and loudly through the whole service.  I could see the body language of people around us as he talked.

So we shifted to the restless child room. Let me be clear, nobody was unkind, nobody shot a look my way.  I was the one who was uncomfortable staying.

Paul continued his happy noises in the restless child room.  At one point we even got a version of ‘let it snow.’  I don’t know if that was Paul editorializing about the air conditioning.

Since this is our life, I tuned Paul’s noises out (for the most part) and tuned in to Pastor Kenny.  After almost 15 years, sometimes we just have to tune out the vocalizing to get anything done.

I loved Pastor Kenny’s sermon on prayer – it was very helpful!

But when he started wrapping up, I looked down and saw a very little girl staring at Paul because of his noises and realized her mom had been distracted the whole service.  This little one was quite interested in Paul, so was no longer restless.  “Well,” I thought, embarrassed at my lack of attention to this young mom’s inability to enjoy worship, “it’s time to go,” and I hauled my crew out.

So, I felt embarrassed a couple of times.  But I love my church and know I’m welcome with my family.  I like the fact that Paul is known by many, and loved by lots of those who know him.  I’m glad to know the North Campus has a restless child room, and nobody thinks twice about my using it with my kids.  Time with this people of God has resulted in many benefits, including chalking up another interrupted service with Paul as just that – just one service of many more I hope the Lord grants to me and my family.

But such is not the case for every family with a child like mine.  Some churches are not as welcoming or persevering.  Families get trained that if their child cannot fit a particular mold, that child isn’t welcome.  One bad experience at a church and they are gone, long before all the benefits of long-term attendance begin to accrue.

So how do we do two things:  1) let families know that there are biblical churches like Bethlehem that are imperfect, make huge mistakes, and deeply want to love and welcome that child just as Christ loves the church; and 2) encourage those families to hang in there with those same churches through all the ups and downs of disability, until the benefits and blessings start to become more apparent?

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Jon Bloom did a service for everyone who experiences a crisis of faith in writing his most recent blog posting. I’ve worked with him either as a volunteer or as an employee for seven years and  I can’t remember how often he’s reminded me to trust God’s promises over my perceptions.  It is always good advice.

In his blog posting last Friday, When You’re in a Spiritual Storm, Trust Your Instruments, he tells his own story of a season of doubt.  But unlike my own experience of running away from God and the people of God, Jon persevered:

So I continued devotional Bible reading, prayer, church and small group attendance. I opened my heart to trusted friends and mentors and sought counsel. I remember John Piper saying to me: “Jon, the rock of truth under your feet will not long feel like sand.” When he said it, my thought was, “I hope you’re right, but I doubt you are.”

My doubts proved wrong. After a long season of darkness, God pierced the clouds with his light.

None of us can know when our particular season of darkness will end, nor can we guarantee that it won’t return for a time.  Our doubts about God’s goodness do not change the fact that God is good, nor do they change God’s ability to keep every promise he has made.

Read Jon Bloom’s blog posting and be encouraged.  And if you need to dig deeper, Pastor John wrote a helpful short book, When the Darkness Will Not Lift, which is available as a free download.  It is good to persevere in trust, as Jon closed his blog post:

If you or a loved one is flying in a storm and despairing, remember your own perceptions, as real as they feel, are not reliable. As one who has tested them in a number of storms I can say with confidence: fly by the instruments God has provided you. They will not prove faulty.

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