People stare.
Which is why you should pray for the siblings of children with disabilities as much as you do for moms and dads.
My Hannah is a ferocious protector of her older brother. She is known in our house as ‘she-who-can-do-no-wrong’ because Paul trusts her completely about everything.
Her antenna is tuned to any slight she thinks is headed his way. She hates it when people stare at Paul or our family.
Several years ago when she first began to notice people staring, she would consider my explanation that people just weren’t used to seeing boys like Paul, and we needed to be patient and kind. She could accept that children might stare, especially children younger than she was. But she has never gotten used to adults staring. “Adults should know better,” she once said to me.
Yes, they should. How do I encourage her to be respectful of adults who behave badly or speak utter nonsense in their ignorance? It is a struggle for me to lead my children well in this area, and I expect it will get even harder.
But she keeps finding ways to make her point without being combative. Over the summer we visited a pool and two boys were very curious about Paul. She simply took him in her lap and held him, clearly stating without words, “he is loved. He is protected. He is my brother.”
Thank you, Lord, for this girl and for this boy!
The Works of God 
What an awesome girl. A weapon of God.
Amazing young lady – You have raised her well and God is using her in mighty ways.
I love this post. Your daughter is awesome in her understanding of love and care. Your photo speaks volumes.
My daughters , having grown up with their brother and his uniqueness, have become very strong woman who have a solid grasp on who God is, how valuable life is , and who have become incredible mothers and women of faith.
I share two images from our past years.
One , Sister visiting Dustin as he deals with life threatening surgery this past year. Their bond is obvious.
Another photo, just a sign that caught my eye as good humor . It reflects the look Dustin’s sisters have given, at times during their growing up years, to kids who stared at their brother.
Image one: http://onegirlfriday.blogspot.com/2009/03/now-arriving-gate-x-destination-x.html
Image two: http://onegirlfriday.blogspot.com/2009/03/non-verbal-communication.html
Anne
One more comment. When Dustin was born, 29 years ago,
among other things the neurologist predicted, even putting in writing in a letter to us, was that Dustin would be a detriment to our other children. This statement was made and then followed with the recommendation that we put him in an institution. Said Doctor also stated in his letter that he had no doubt that we could take good care of Dustin. So his recommendation to abandon Dustin was made on his assumption that somehow our daughters would suffer because of their brother. What an island of despair to put two young parents on! Has advice to new parents really changed in the last 29 years? Aren’t parents today, via prenatal diagnosis techniques, given advice to abandon their children via abortion?
I reflect on this and find great joy in my family and can see that your family reflects the same God given joy. May peace that passeth human understanding abound.
Son, Hannah’s life and actions are so impressive for others to see her real Christian love in action. That is so meaningful. I had breakfast with Joe and am hopeful our church will accept the need in Winona. We are so thankful for the God caused ministry when He sent Paul to our family. Any one who gets to know Paul have to be impressed with the family he is sent to be a part of. Love Dad
What a beautiful photo. I love it that Hannah is smiling, but also alert. And to see Paul so relaxed in her arms brings tears to my eyes. Thank you for this post.
I’m the sibling of a brother with Autism. It’s amazing how my character and sensitivity has been shaped by having an autistic brother, just one of the beauties of having a family member with a disability.
I am an adult who often stares… but I stare differently than most. You see, I am a father of a precious little boy God chose to bless with Down Syndrome. Because of this, my “radar” for being able to pick someone out of a crowd with Down Sydndrome or another disability has been heightened to a level that did not previously exist. When I see a child or adult with a disability I purposfully do not turn away my gaze. As an adult I certainly try not to stare in a way that would cause the person to be self conscience but I do not turn away pretending this person is just like everyone else in the world… their not. I KNOW first hand they and their family have among other things…tremendous struggles that the “average” person will never know. At the least, as I gaze upon them I am compelled to pray for them… for them to know, love and embrace the God who purposefully and lovingly knit them together in their mother’s womb “just as they are” without a single slip of the creator’s hand… I pray they will be strong and courageous in the Lord… I pray they will feel the presence, peace, power and comfort that the Holy Spirit can only bring… I pray God will make an impact for His Kingdom through the life of this precious one… I pray for God’s power to be made perfect in their weakness… I pray for their families. At the most and when appropriate, I try to briefly engage them with the words and touch of a Christian.
You see, we are hardwired regardless of our age to stare or focus or double-take upon anything that is not the average… whether it is a person with striking beauty, remarkable height or lack there of, or a person that looks different than us because they have an extra chromosone or no legs. Ultimately it is what we are doing in our hearts and minds as we stare that matters. Some stare with fear, some with disgust, some with innocent curioisty… but there are some who stare in love… sorrowful yet rejoicing.
Unfortunately for those of us who are “protectors”… we cannot know the heart of those who stare… but… we can stare back at THEM and pray for them… that the “difference” God permitted them to observe today would impact them for the Glory of God and for the good of their own soul.
Bless Hannah, Paul, and family! Way to go Hannah — love what you said, “He is protected & loved.” What more could any of us want? That is precious.
I also love the spirit in Martin’s comments. We too have 2 sons with autism that have experienced the stares, ridicules, and parenting advice from judgemental adults who are unaware of the circumstances. I’m learning that people respond according to the information they have. We plan to make up cards breifly explaining autism, and just quietly hand to those who respond offensively.
Because of our experience, I agree with Martin. I do look & just give a smile to those who appear different for a variety of reasons — and their parents. Actually I do my best to give a smile to everyone with whom I come into contact. Everybody wins when a smile is given!
Thank you for sharing!