The Works of God

When disability enters a family, the divergent opinions of multiple perspectives comes with it.  Medical professionals, social workers, educators, neighbors, family and friends may all have different opinions about what they think should be done.

So I smiled with appreciation as I read Caryn Turner’s post, “In Sickness and In Health. . . of Your Child,” in which she points out the things they have chosen to say ‘no’ to in their family.

She is right – every family experiencing disability must make firm decisions or risk being carried along by experts (or even friends and family) who mean well, but who do not necessarily care about the family as a whole or who do not share that family’s perspective about God and his sovereign will.

Yet, as firm as she is in articulating the things they avoid, she closes with this:

I know that there are some seasons that your child with special needs may need more attention, time, and focus. We’ve had several of those seasons with Christian. However, I listed here what we strive to do under “normal” circumstances.

I’m glad she ended on that gracious statement about ‘some seasons.’  I know Dianne and I do things much differently than we did when Paul or any of our children were younger.  Different seasons call for different responses.  And it is good to find a healthy pattern in which to live during those times of ‘normal’ circumstances.

Yet, I have never felt discounted or demeaned by other families at Bethlehem who have chosen different paths.  Some of my choices have been challenged, at times, but never in ways that questioned my desires or affections for my own family or disrespected me as a father.

Given the powerful emotional response that disability can raise up in people (especially me), I find that remarkable and certainly a gift from God.