Dianne to me: the doctor’s office called and he wants to increase Paul’s meds to 8 ml morning and evening.
Me: you’ve got to be kidding. What are they thinking?
Backstory: Paul’s medications have helped control his seizures, until a recent five-day span when he had multiple seizures every day. Dianne has been trying to get some answers and possible changes. This particular medicine makes him sleepy. We’ve already seen what happens when we increase this medication – the sleepiness just gets more pronounced. We don’t want to lose any more time with him!
So, my first response started me down a very bad path, which I don’t say out loud but is rather intensely going on inside: they aren’t paying attention; we’ve gone down this path before; they really don’t care at all about him; what if there’s no real help for him; what is God thinking in adding to our. . . . . . . . . . . .
Then God spoke:
He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32 ESV
Time to refocus and engage:
APTAT (from Pastor John’s sermon of this past Sunday, The Word of God Is at Work in You):
Admit – Lord, I hate this and I’m angry. And I know this could swallow me up whole; I can’t beat it.
Pray – Lord, we need a good answer for Paul and I don’t believe this is it. Please provide a better course to help him. Please give us wisdom to do the right thing – what if this is the right thing? And please don’t let me turn my anger into doubting your goodness; I hate that I used to do that and I never want to go back to that.
Trust -But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children. . . Psalm 103:17 ESV He has not stopped loving Paul or me. Whatever he wants to do, he can do and will do.
Act – Dianne reminded the doctor about the sleepiness and asked for another course. He has prescribed yet another medication, and we are investigating it for ourselves before starting. We are inclined to pursue this course of action.
Thank – Lord, thank you for 1) helping the doctor to hear Dianne’s concern and thinking through another course, and more importantly 2) reminding me that you did not spare your own son, which immediately reoriented my heart. Even before I asked for help, you were already providing it.
And here is APTAT in Pastor John’s own words in less than four minutes: