At about the 1:05 point of the video comes this quote: “I bought into the lie that circumstance defines happiness.” What a great reminder for those of us dealing with disability!
I need all kinds of reminders. I could feel some grumbling rising in my spirit yesterday morning as I began to calculate the thousands of times we have already needed to dress Paul. Everyone else in the family can do that without assistance.
The Lord brought this to mind in that moment:
On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable. . . (1 Corinthians 12:22)
“On the contrary,” I could hear the Lord saying to me in my grumbling, “this boy is indispensable to your knowing who I am – and I have done a great deal more for you already than you will ever do for him.”
Then that final phrase in the video came to mind as well, altered a little: I need Paul more than Paul needs me.
Blind, autistic, small, unable to feed or dress himself, completely dependent on other people for almost everything in his life. Or put another way, an example of my helplessness before an awesome, holy and just God. Yet God never gets tired of my dependence on him. Quite the opposite – I glorify him when I point to how great he is and how much I need him for everything.
Yes, I need Paul more than he needs me. And I need to trust the Father like my son trusts me.
Thank you, Lord, for giving me this boy!