Many thanks to my friend, Jan Lacher, for writing this post today – JPK
This past Monday night, I cried some lukewarm tears.
My three older children played piano pieces for their yearly piano recitals. Christina played Firefly Fandango by Bober. David performed Beethoven’s Sonata, c#minor,Op.27#2, Adagio. My senior, Jonathon, performed Chopin’s famous Nocturne Eb Major. It was bitter-sweet listening to Jonathon, realizing that it would probably be his last performance that I would be privileged to hear. Eleven years of practice and recitals will be done. Sigh… Warm tears dripped onto my starched, white blouse even as I was biting my thumb nails and holding my breathe until it was over. Such is the torture of a parent.
At one point in the evening though, I had tears for another reason.
One of our good friend’s daughters, the youngest of six children, performed a phenomenal piece. Eight-year old Julia played A Touch of a Dream by Cuellar with beauty and grace. She is gifted musically, as her other siblings are.
While she performed it, I realized that she was only six weeks older than Michael. Michael seems so much younger. Of course, mentally, he is. I could not help noticing the contrast between her and Michael as she gracefully approached the grand piano and displayed her musical gifts even as Michael bounced away in his wheelchair in the church foyer.
I was not at all jealous of her ability. I was not envious. But, a deep sorrow set in at that realization, and lukewarm tears dripped, dripped, and dripped. I loved listening to the music and rejoiced with her parents at her beautiful performance. But, it was shadowed with the loss of all the possibilities that could have been for Michael.
How do I think about this without becoming overwhelmed with grief?
Events like piano recitals seem to punctuate disability with an exclamation point. I need to have a way to think about his life without becoming overwhelmed with grief. So in my mind, I am learning to shift my attention and fast-forward it to a time when some day, Michael will be made whole. There will be a time when he will have full functionality and will have the ability to learn “the masters” and so much more.
I look forward to that reality. But in the meantime, I am learning to be content and patient with the truth and hope that the Gospel brings. Maybe some day both Michael and I will have the opportunity, with perfection and zeal, to perform on a keyboard a duet called the Hungarian Rhapsody. I envision how with high drama we will smoke the keys together. Instead of lukewarm tears, there will be tears of joy and gladness.
What a glorious time that will be.
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Thank you to America’s Disabled Veterans
Posted in commentary, News, Scripture on May 31, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
Memorial Day exists to remember those who died in military service. It is good and right to remember the sacrifices made, and their impact on society as well as individual families.
I think it is also appropriate to recognize all those who are disabled because of their service, a number many times greater than those who die in combat.
The Department of Defense has reported slightly more than 4,400 military deaths in Iraq as of May 28. Numbers of those disabled in this war are harder to come by. But as of 2008, about 181,000 veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars were receiving disability benefits from the Federal government.
When disability comes, often suddenly and violently, on mostly healthy young men, the response can be one of intense questioning of the goodness and sovereignty of God.
Yet, God’s word demonstrates both his sovereign intentionality in our lives and the opportunity for hope, no matter the situation:
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13
Nothing ever has or ever will catch God by surprise in our individual lives and circumstances:
In your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. Psalm 139:16
And no situation that results in disability, whether from a genetic anomaly, a sickness or disease, an accident or an act of war, has the final word on the glorious reality that awaits those who are trusting in Jesus:
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
So, thank you to all veterans and those currently in active military service. May Christ’s church welcome you gladly, helping you see the glorious goodness of God in all circumstances. Especially those of you living with disability because of your service.
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